Good morning to you. Welcome to Friday. It’s been a long week. Full of ups and downs.
Down – nothing has happened.
Up – my beard is really coming along quite nicely.
Down – we haven’t signed any new players.
Up – I’ve been very much enjoying my new front door.
Down – the Emirates Cup starts tomorrow, it’s possible that some ill-feeling may creep its way in (what would a Higuain goal, do, for example?)
Up – seriously, I’m rocking the beard.
Steve Foster, Brighton captain in the year they reached the FA Cup final, refused to shave his beard until they lost in the cup. There was a replay which they lost 4-0 to Man Utd. Maybe I should do the same. Refuse to shave until we sign a new player.
Down – it could start to get itchy very soon.
Up – in no time at all I could make some handy money on the side in a ZZ Top tribute band.
My research this morning, reveals this list of Brighton players who have had beards. It’s pretty hard to put together a similar list of Arsenal players. Off the top of my head I’ve got Cesc, perhaps a bit of Kolo, Alex Song looked like that Portuguese bloke who looked like Zeus for a while, but apart from that I can’t think of too many more (if I’ve forgotten obvious ones it’s because it’s really early in the morning).
Have we really been such a clean shaven club? Sure, there were some great ‘taches down the years (Seaman, Sansom, Sunderland – Super!), but not enough beards. Remember Romania in the World Cup when all their players dyed their hair blonde, how awesome would it be if, on the first day of the season, every Arsenal player had themselves a beard of some kind?
Kieran Gibbs going the full Abraham Lincoln, Jack Wilshere as Colonel Sanders, Olivier “Ernest Hemmingway” Giroud and Carl Jenkinson with the Che Guevara. I’d like to see Steve Bould prowling the sidelines, scratching at the mighty bush on his face as he barks orders at the players, while Arsene Wenger’s new Captain Birdseye look brings back glory to the club after so many years without a trophy.
Up – trophy.
Down – someone might get beard hairs in it whilst drinking celebratory champagne from it and, knowing our luck, our star player would become the first ever person to choke to death on a face pube.
Yet here we are talking about beards when we should be talking football. Despite the tournament this weekend, there just seems to be an air of apathy around everything. I can only talk for myself, obviously, but I look at the squad we have, I like the players we’ve got, but I just don’t see them doing anything greater than they did last season, which is clearly not where we want to be.
Everything seems to be hung up on this Suarez bid and while there are so many stories, suggestions, hints, allegations, facts, lies, spoofs, and vested interests, it seems kinda mad that we’re so hung up on this thing. The reality is that even if we sign him tomorrow he can’t play until October (in the Premier League anyway). With all that in mind, why not play the long game (which like it or not we’re quite good at), string the whole thing out until the deadline approaches, and in the meantime buy some of the other players we need.
Yet where are the links? Unless Arsenal have managed a way to stop the drip-drip of information that accompanies every transfer these days and are doing deals to secretly that they’ll just announce them and we’ll go all ‘Oooh’ and ‘Ahhh’, it strikes me that the reason we don’t hear about any other players coming in is because there are no other players coming in. In that, you know, we’re not close to signing anybody but when we are they’ll let us know straight away.
Your transfer is important to us, please hold.
Down – we still a midfielder and probably a centre-back and maybe a keeper and a winger
Up – er … a fantastic animated Pixar movie with the most wonderfullly heartbreaking opening sequence.
Anyway, with the Emirates Cup on the TV this weekend (although it’s on BT Sport which means some people might not have it and those that do may have to put up with the personality vacuum that is Michael Owen), the media presence should see the manager asked some questions about what he’s planning to do with his squad and that wad of twenties sticking out of his wallet.
I’m not going to put any money on hearing anything new, but it would be nice. “Ta-daaaaa,” he might but probably won’t say as he reaches under his once magic hat and pulls from it a shiny new player like a magician’s rabbit.
Suarez has the teeth of a rabbit. Just saying.
Up – Rabbits are delicious
Down – I had a mate who had a rabbit who growled like a dog and nearly bit his small cousin’s toe off. He was a complete shitspanner of a rabbit.
Till tomorrow.
