A saucy start

Morning all,

welcome to a brand new week. It might be a chore to drag yourself out of bed on a Monday morning, but it also brings with it freshness and hope. Will there be action? Might something happen this week? Who knows? It’s like an Arsenal season encapsulated in the space of one week.

Monday is the first day of the season, filled with optimism. Tuesday – you get the sense something might not be quite right. Wednesday – that’s it, season over. Thursday – a slight recovery as we’re linked with people again. Friday – a storming finish in which actual numbers and stuff are added to the names but we remain trophyless.

There’s nothing new about anyone coming in, unless you want me to start using the Daily Mail as a source. Which, unless they’ve had a miraculous conversion to the truth overnight, just isn’t going to happen. In terms of who you should believe before the Mail, I’ve put together a list of more credible sources.

1 – A piss-stained tramp

2 – Eddie Murphy

3 – Cliff Clavin

4 – A Japanese soldier who has been hiding in the jungles of Burma since 1945 and still believes World War II in on

5 – A tiger

And, I have to tell you, that list has been meticulously put together will actual research and that. According to the Metro, according to the Daily Star, who report that Caught Offside said that according to goal.com who ran an EXCLUSIVE based on a story on Here is the City which told us that according to some bloke who uses Sulia to pass on his completely on the level information and isn’t just trying to get people to click because they pay him three-quarters of one shiny US cent each time somebody does, this is the best list of all time.

The papers this morning can’t even be bothered with making up a bit of fiction. They’re all on the quotes from Koscielny’s agent which, as we explained yesterday are mostly just bluster and the usual agent nonsense, apparently indicate that he’s played his last game for the club. It’s a good job these people aren’t doctors.

Patient“Doc, I think I have a bit of a cold.”

Doctor“I’m sorry, but you’ve got three days left to live.”

The fact that Koscielny himself spoke about being happy at Arsenal, and having no desire to leave, just a few short days ago, has no impact whatsoever on the way things are being ‘reported’ today. And I use that word only to show it up for the errant nonsense it is.

One of the things we’re trying to do on Arseblog News this summer is provide as much context as possible when these stories emerge. If one report says we’re missing out on a player, citing quotes from said player, but leaves out a great chunk of further quotes which makes it clear we’re not missing out at all, then that’s worth clarifying. We had much excitement with Gervinho’s link to Marseille, but what was obvious about that story was how much of an afterthought he was.

Perhaps we’re being spoilsports, ruining people’s fun, but if you get your fun from this kind of stuff then I suspect you might need to get out of the house a bit more. So, it’s an inauspicious start to the week, but remember, it’s only the first day of the season.

Back tomorrow with some carefully selected unease and confirmation bias.

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