october 1st
18.15 – As an Arsenal fan, there are teams it’s just natural to hate. Sp*rs, Liverpool, Man Utd, Chelsea etc. But over the years, I have added to the list of teams I hate for a number of reasons.
Leeds United – when I went to school as a lad, it was a small Roman Catholic school in Yorkshire. There were loads of Leeds fans there, and one big stupid cunt called Ian who made life for anyone who didn’t like Leeds as difficult as possible. Many was the day where he would grab the back of your neck, squeeze really hard and say “Say thee likes Leeds or I’ll not stop”. When someone is far larger than you and quite determined to leave thumb and finger indentations in your neck, it’s wise to do ashe says. I hate Leeds because that big cunt made me say I like Leeds.
Juventus – they signed Liam Brady. May everyone connected with the club burn in the depths of hell and suffer atrocious hemorrhoids that burst hot lava down the back of their legs. I hope Newcastle stuff them tonight, then set fire to the stadium and then drench them with elephant piss from one of those fire fighting helicopters.
West Ham – they signed Liam Brady when he came back from Italy, starting a trend that continues to this day as old Arsenal players move across to Upton Park for a bit of a kickabout before they retire.They beat us in the 1980 cup final with the softest header of all time from Trevor Brooking. The only good thing about that final was Willie Young’s fantastic saving tackle on Clive Allen’s little bother Paul. (Sorry Dead Kenny!).
Scarborough Scunthorpe (thanks to Hootie) – I don’t think they’re even a league team anymore, but does anyone remember Ian Botham playing for them, in a bizarre, reverse Roy of the Rovers summer type affair? During the summer Roy Race and his Melchester chums would end up playing cricket, coz they had no football to fill the comic with. Then one year, Ian Botham did it the other way around. Ihate when comics come true, especially in reverse.
Who do you hate, for whatever reason?
ps – thanks to David O’Leary for his fine fill-in job. I’m sure something decent will crop up sooner or later Dave, if not, there’s bound to be a job up in Sunderland soon enough.
