Thursday, March 23, 2023

Arseblog: Tuesday 14th May 2002

may 14th

22.45 – It had to happen – have a look at – which includes a really handy ‘How To’ section if you want your hair to sport that distinctive red stripe. Good work chaps.

Also, if you look at April, you’ll see that A R S E B L O G brought you a story I’d heard through a friend of a friend …blah blah blah ….but basically, the story was this bloke heard that Barcelona were trying to bring Ronaldo back to Camp Nou, but were frustrated because it seemed that Arsenal had been dealing with the player for a while and terms were said to be agreed. Now the Inter president has said that he would listen to offers for any Inter player, but mentioned Ronaldo specifically.

If Ronaldo signs for Arsenal, I will shit my pants with excitement. Imagine the level of football, the skill, the finishing, the tricks and the turns he’d be able to teach Frannie Jeffers while they spent the whole season together on the treatment table.

14.25 – It looks like Martin Keown is staying for at least another season. Good news in my book. We’ve already lost Lee Dixon, and say what you want about The Grimster, he had plenty of experience. If Tony Adams does call it a day, we’ll be glad of the furrowed brow of Keown next season. I don’t expect him to be first choice, especially if my sources are correct and a centre half is high on the summer shopping list, but if this season has taught us anything, it’s that we need to have a big squad with plenty of experience.

Kieron Dyer is thinking of taking legal action against Southampton player Tahar El Kahlej for the tackle which looks like putting him out of the World Cup. I totally understand the frustration of missing out on the trip to Korea & Japan, but I hate the idea of footballers suing each other. Just get on with it, because once this kind of legal bullshit starts the whole thing snowballs. You’ll have players suing each other for nothing incidents, and the physical side of the game – which the authorities are doing their very best to eliminate anyway – will become redundant, thus turning football into a non-contact sport.

Yes, players need to be protected, but as much as a Cruyff turn, a 30 yard volley or a dazzling run and finish are fine examples of football skill, so are the sliding tackle, the shoulder to shoulder challenge and the aerial battles between centre forwards and the centre halves. Take away physical contact and football just becomes netball for men.

So Kieron, while you’re feeling sorry for yourself – and rightly so – take that into account. If you sue, and you win, and things go downhill from there, I’ll go to Newcastle, stake out your place and when you’re coming out of your house to get into your car, I shall burst forward and carry out the most heinous of two footed tackles upon you. It’ll be worse than Schumacher on Battiston. Just so you know, like.

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