november 16th
DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-DIGA-FUCKING-DIG-CUNTS.
And here’s the thing about the workmen. They start at 8am, and I’ve mentioned before that they always, always do the loudest thing they can possibly do first thing in the morning, but by 9.15am there will be utter silence as they piss off for the first of their 17 sandwich breaks. I went out with the dog last night and saw a sticker on their workmen’s hut which says the work is scheduled to continue until the 27th of November. I may have to explode their hut. With them in it.
‘Oooh,’ I’ll say as theyscrape the charred corpses of the workmen off the front of my building. ‘The war on terror reaches my street. How shocking.’
But inside I will be laughing. Oh yes. Another thing to bear in mind is that the loud work mornings always come when you’re tiredest. Having arrived home late enough last night after football I endeavoured to print something for my daughter for school but an upgrade to my operating system rendered my printer as useless as a common Stepanovs. 2 1/2 hours later, having consulted message boards, IRC, bespectacled Mac gurus and Steve Jobs himself I managed to print out the stuff. Hurrah! Except now my bastard Dreamweaver won’t work (for those of you think that’s some kind of software for installing nightmares in my worst enemies it’s actually what I use to write and modify Arseblog every day). Cue some more message board stuff, reinstallation, deleting of preferences, downloading updates and fixes from Macromedia. But does it work? Do Stephen Hawkins legs? Exactly.
Anyway, my entire body feels like it’s been put through a mangle, there’s bugger all Arsenal news around and I’m tired and grumpy. I’m so tired I’m sitting at my desk here and there are a pair of sunglasses just under the monitor. It’s dark in here and whatever way the light reflected on one of the lenses made me think it was some kind of bat which made me jump up and put the light on and realise it was only sunglasses. I hate bats.
Thanks for all your entries to the goalhanger t-shirt contest. See the bottom of yesterday’s blog for info on how to win one of these shirts. One of the mails I receieved (and I can’t find the name of the bloke now, sorry) urged me to have a look at the special wallpaper Arsenal.con released after the Spurs game. Five goals we scored, Henry and Lauren’s celebration was a classic, Paddy striding through the midfield, Bob’s fancy footwork. What do they show? A teeny-tiny Freddie in the distance after scoring while Spurs players stick their hands in the air looking for offside. Quite possibly the worst sports photograph I have ever seen. They did it last week for the Carling Cup game too. Two goals from Arturoooooooooo, a cracker from Quincy but the wallpaper showed a meaningless midfield challenge between two Arsenal players and some Everton bloke? Are they deliberately picking the crap pictures because they’re cheaper? Whatever it is it’s rubbish and whoever’s in charge of selecting the pictures needs a slap in the head. With a crowbar.
Reserves drew 1-1 with Leicester last night. Young Irish striker Anthony Stokes came off the bench to save a point. Worringly though he replaced Mathieu Flamini who picked up some kind of injury meaning we have less fit midfielders than George Bush has brain cells. I’m not sure whether they took him off as a precaution or if he was actually really injured, but I’m sure we’ll find out as the week progresses.
Now, I need coffee. And morphine. Bye.
