june 19th
09.43 – Is Thierry Henry scoring a penalty for France in a tournament that shouldn’t be held interesting Arsenal news? No, you’re right. It’s not. Thierry Henry, Sylvain Wiltord and Robert Pires not picking up any injuries in this rididculous FIFA money-spinner is much more interesting.
The Confederations Cup is to football what Michael Bolton is to music, what Keanu Reeves is to acting, what George W Bush is to world peace and what “Sir” Alex Ferguson is to manners. It must the only tournament that players simply don’t want to play in. Man United’s fish-faced defender Mikael Silvestre described the Confederations Cup as ‘vanity tournament made up by a bunch of cunting cunts’. Well, he didn’t say that exactly, but that’s what he meant.
Harry Kewell’s agent held talks with David Dein last night regarding his proposed transfer to Arsenal. It’s been suggested that now that Man United have a got a few quid for Beckham, they’ll try and buy Kewell as well. According to The Sun though, Kewell won’t move there after seeing the way the England captain was treated by the gum-chewing lout.
Despite admitting to ‘keeping an eye’ on Phillip Mexes, Arsene Wenger says “We are not in the market for a defender at the minute.”
Anyone else scared out of their wits by that statement? I’m seriously hoping it’s some kind of a bluff from AW, because as fine a player as Kewell is, we need a top quality centre-half for more than we need the Aussie. Let’s be honest, we’ve got Sol and a 37/38 year old Keown who’ll struggle to stay fit for 50% of the season and even at that is slowing down big time. That’s it. Super Oleg is gone. Then we’ve got the ugly sisters – Stepanovs and Cygan who are to defending what the Confederations Cup is to football. Buy a defender Arsene. Please. I know we’ve got Senderos coming, but unless this kid is the Ronaldinho/Wayne Rooney of defenders, he’s not going to be quite ready for a first team place.
Fixtures are announced today. Every season there’s a ‘leak’ and current wisdom is that Arsenal will play Leicester on the first day. I suspect not. I remember when I was younger it always seemed to be Man Utd or Liverpool on the first day. This time around I’m going with Liverpool – and for those of you who just can’t wait, check out Up The Arse’s best-guess at next season’s fixtures.
On a fixtures theme, I saw the ‘Fixtures Man’ fella from Soccer AM in Barcelona the other day. In a city as metropolitan and stylish as Barcelona, the closest I’ve come to seeing a celeb is a bloke who’s the butt of Tim Lovejoy’s jokes. Sad, I know.
Right, I’m off to the estate agents with a bazooka filled with the snot of hundreds of sick children.
