An Arsenal Ode To 2017

By Tim Stillman

As 2017 draws to a close,
It’s time to reflect on the triumphs and woes,
Ramsey at Wembley, catalyst for change,
Thursday night football that still feels so strange.

A three man defence, then back to a four,
It seems like Arsene doesn’t know anymore,
Backroom appointments, the coarseness of Sir Chips,
And Jose Mourinho was a tedious prick.

Özil and Sanchez still won’t commit,
And Santi Cazorla still isn’t fit.
T’was a year that began with a scorpion kick,
And Jose Mourinho was a tedious prick.

When Marcos Alonso knocked Hector out cold,
He just didn’t fancy it or so we were told,
We pined for revenge and in the very next bout,
At Wembley in May we knocked Chelsea out.

In the Champions League it was Munich again,
And Bayern hit sorry Arsenal for ten,
The midfield’s a mess, the defence is unsighted,
At least we beat Lincoln and Sutton United.

Despair at West Brom, dismantled at Palace,
Surrender at Spurs that left us embarrassed,
In sheer desperation we ditched the back four,
We’re not in the Champions League anymore.

At Anfield in March Alexis was dropped,
For throwing a massive training ground strop,
White Hart Lane was demolished brick by brick,
And Jose Mourinho was a tedious prick.

As you unwrap your presents and parcels,
Spare a thought for poor Duncan Castles,
Who sits alone in the dark nursing his wine,
Polishing his Jose Mourinho shrine.

The cup brought us cheer as Wembley turned red,
City were vanquished and Chelsea stopped dead,
Our boy Aaron Ramsey repeated the trick,
And Jose Mourinho was a tedious prick.

Though the support had a poisonous feel,
Arsene Wenger still signed a new deal,
We still needed help in finding the net,
So Ivan went to Lyon to sign Lacazette.

But as the summer came to an end,
A crisis emerged that was tough to defend,
The future of Sanchez grossly mismanaged,
We travelled to Anfield broken and damaged.

Oxlade Chamberlain starts at wing-back,
Ahead of Sead Kolasinac,
Mustafi and Sanchez were half out the door,
As merciless Liverpool hit us for four.

September in London a German invasion,
As fans from Cologne filled up our stadium,
In October we had Koeman’s head on a stick,
And Jose Mourinho was a tedious prick.

Tottenham Hotspur were spanked out of sight,
Alli and Kane both totally shite,
Giroud scored in Belgrade with a bicycle kick,
And Jose Mourinho was a tedious prick.

We lost to Manchester United again,
Were it not for de Gea we could have scored ten,
Welbeck’s next goal might go in off his tit,
But Sanchez and Özil still won’t commit.

My fellow Gooners what a year it has been,
We sure won’t forget two thousand seventeen,
As 2018 raises its curtain,
There are just two things that we all know for certain.

Tottenham Hotspur you’ll always be shit
And Jose Mourinho will be a tedious prick.

Season’s greetings to all readers.

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