The fun stuff in Brazil continued yesterday with two very watchable games while Iran and Nigeria decided to provide us with Phil Neville co-commentary in football form sandwiched in the middle.
There was big Arsenal interest in the first game of the day between Germany and Portugal, with Mesut Ozil and Per Mertesacker starting. Thomas Mueller stole the show with a hat-trick and he was also involved in the sending off incident with Pepe, one of the game’s most horrendous characters.
At the very least you have to say the man is consistent: if there’s somebody going to do so something moronic then he is your go-to guy. I think it was pretty obvious Mueller was trying to wind him up, and it worked. Pepe leaned in, gave him that silly head-push thing and got himself sent off. When a player is that unstable, why wouldn’t the opposition target him?
If you want to criticise the German player for his part in it, fair enough, but all Pepe had to do was nothing and he’d have stayed on. And what’s with the head-nuzzle thing anyway? Pardew did that against that Hull player and got banned for it, but really they just look silly, like kittens seeking affection rather than any kind of hard man.
If you are going to put the head on somebody, at least go about it the right way, channeling the spirit of that hero who loafed Jamiroquai that time. No regrets then, as opposed to sitting in the dressing room being upset that you g0t sent off for being a monstrous dimwit and a cowardly weakling.
Germany were 2-0 up at that point anyway, and Portugal looked, frankly, a bit rubbish. Cristiano Ronaldo’s weird pasty face looked all melty in the heat, while the Germans looked very good indeed without having to try too hard. I thought Ozil did pretty well overall and really should have scored in the second half, but with the game well and truly won, he was taken off at about the hour mark.
Some people suggested he wasn’t happy to be taken off but unless he’s actually smiling, I think his resting expression is one of intense melancholia. It’s then assumed that he’s glum to the bones, but maybe we just need to stop trying to read so much into his facial expressions. Or lack of them. Per played the full 90, Podolski got on for about 10 minutes and Germany were great value for their win.
Then came Iran v Nigeria of which I only watched the second half, because I watched the season finale of Game of Thrones. Can you believe that thing with the bloke with the sword and that girl with the boobs and that other bloke with the sword and then that bit where there were swords and boobs and dragons? Amazing.
So then it was USA v Ghana and I had €5 on Clint Dempsey at 8-1 to score the first goal. Bam, 30 seconds in and he made me a very, very wealthy man. Time for me to retire and live the good life on that €40. Update: I just checked and I only bet €2 on it. What kind of idiot only bets €2? Don’t they realise hindsight is a killer? Gah.
Anyway, Ghana’s main plan seemed to be to wear the USA down with lots and lots of crosses to nobody, to lull them into a false sense of security. I thought they defended pretty well all night but when Andre Ayew (sounds like a sneeze, right), got a fine equaliser in the 83rd minute, it looked as if they’d have to settle for the draw.
But then John Brooks scored in the 86th minute to win the game and I loved his celebration. The classic ‘Holy shit, how did I do that? I just did that! AWESOME!’. He also had a dream he was going to score to win the game (he might have some octopus DNA). It certainly makes that group really interesting, and the USA’s next game against Portugal is one which can make or break the group stage for both teams.
Possible Arsenal interest today comes as Russia take on South Korea and Chu Young Park might be playing or something, while Thomas Vermaelen could feature for Belgium against Algeria. Speaking of which, his agent has flatly denied that a deal has been done with Man Utd which, of course, is exactly what he has to say, otherwise he’d be guilty of publicly dealing with another club without Arsenal’s permission.
That it happens behind the scenes is part and parcel of how football works, so there’s not much to read into denials anyway. Still, I am refusing to get bent out of shape this early in the summer and especially not about things which haven’t even happened yet (if they’re going to happen at all).
I know most people know this, but it’s worth reminding everyone that this is silly season and called silly season for a reason. Not just rhyming ones. Now, more than ever, transfer speculation sells. It’s the bedrock of the media/sports publishing industry, online and off, for the next three months, and it’s dependent on your clicks, hits and sharing. There are bound to be snippets of truth here and there, but for the most part it’s agents playing the game, clubs playing the game, players and journalists playing the game, and it is a game.
I mean, when you see stories linking us with Tom Cleverley you have to step back and find something more productive to do with your day than get furious. We don’t have room for Cesc Fabregas but somehow we can find a place for the footballing equivalent of magnolia? I don’t think so. There’s also the classic thing going on where every rumour we find objectionable is 100% true and bound to happen, while something we might like to occur is guaranteed fiction.
I have a feeling this could be silliest of silly seasons yet, and based on what we’ve seen in previous years, that could be quite silly indeed. Thank goodness the World Cup is here to distract us.
More fun today please, Brazil 2014. Thanks.
