No

It’s one of those days, where nothing’s happening.

Sometimes I wonder if we should just embrace the nothingness. Wrap our arms around its empty bosom and cling on for all we’re worth. The constant need for something to read, discuss, debate or argue about is probably unhealthy when you think about it.

Not too long ago we talked about other stuff when there wasn’t anything relevant to thing we all like. Or didn’t talk at all. That was good. Not talking. I remember that. Just me and my thoughts and … oh, yeah. Now I get it.

I suppose we could do one of those things that websites do where they make something up and then phrase the headline as a question, but the answer is always ‘no’. I recall talking about this on Twitter a while back and apparently it’s an actual thing with a name and stuff.

‘Can I remember what that headline thing is called?’

No.

‘Is Thomas Vermaelen the answer to Arsenal’s defensive midfield problem?’

No.

‘Is Abou Diaby the man to change the course of Arsenal’s season?’

No.

‘Will Aaron Ramsey and Mesut Ozil be back for the trip to Everton?’

No.

‘How many of these headlines can I write without it becoming increasingly obvious I’m just trying to fill space?’

No.

‘It’s not a yes or no question. That doesn’t make sense.’

Neither does your face.

‘Oh, smart guy, eh? How about we take this outside?’

No.

The other thing to do is seek feedback to everything you post on social media. This is a new thing now. For example: ‘Olivier Giroud is determined to score the goals to win the cup for Arsenal. Can he do it?’

At which point I disregard to the countless answers which refer to him scoring elsewhere, his nationality, his lack of pace, the insults, the ones which tell him to die, and then I RT a few which say ‘Go Ollie!’ or ‘Smashing!’ or ‘Football is ace!’, and all of those people always have ridiculously close-up selfies as their Twitter avatar of their smiley face but they’re so smiley they’re scary, like this:

But look, as a wise man once tried to sing, things can only better. We’re bound to get some team news or something today ahead of the trip to Everton. We can put the midweek nothingness behind us and start to worry about playing away from home at a reasonably early time.

Not 12.45pm, a time which I have renamed Arsenal Kryptonite O’Clock, but still early enough that it’d give you pause for thought. And by thought I mean intense worry. Everton are in good form right now and our form, while not Anchorman 2, is still a bit Terence Trent D’Arby’s second album.

Arsene did say that he would look to see if there was something about preparation for these games which could be changed. My advice would be to sit down, look at what we did before Man City, Liverpool and Chelsea, and do exactly the opposite. If that means telling the players to have a late night and to make sure they do all congregate in Flamini’s room with couple of magnums of fortified wine and pulled pork burritos, then so be it.

I mean, the alternative is to tell them to switch the fuck on right from the start of the game and not fall to pieces like a common Patsy Cline. But where’s fun in that? Anyway, whatever approach he takes, I hope it’s something that, in this particularly quiet week, is being drilled into them over and over again on the training ground. While it’s not quite stay in the title race stuff, there’s still a lot at stake on Sunday, and to my mind it’s been the pressure that’s caused those bad results, not an inherent shitness on our part.

We showed on Saturday against Man City, 1-0 down at half-time with the pressure well and truly on, that we can cope at home. Now we’re going to have to prove that we’ve got the balls to do it away. Everton will fancy their chances, we have to show them there’s still fight left in the old dog.

—

In other, more exciting news, we’ve just got the proofs back for the book. It’s all looking good, we’ve got to go through it with a fine-toothed comb, before sending it off to the printers at the end of next week. Full details about the launch etc are still to come, and for those people who are simply too lazy to read, I think we’re going to produce an audiobook version too.

It’s the book equivalent of being carried around like a pharaoh. You just wander to your heart’s content while I get in your ears. Mmmm, aural.

‘Can the author continue to write this morning without stretching things to breaking point?’

No.

Tim Stillman will be here later as usual, more from me tomorrow with an Arsecast which will be 32’13 of tumbleweed noises and me going ‘Pfffff … just waiting for something to talk about’.