The wheels are turning. Slowly, but they’re turning.
Real Madrid will appoint Carlo Ancelotti today. Juventus are about to buy Carlos Tevez from Man City. Which can only mean one thing. City will hijack the Higuain deal and present him by the end of the week.
I kid. Sort of. I mean, it wouldn’t surprise me. They’re a club which has shown a distinct lack of imagination when it comes to transfers in recent seasons and they may feel like cutting out the middle man. Why pay Arsenal a couple of years down the line when you can go straight to the fountain yourself to drink?
Although, perhaps we’re all forgetting a little something called Scott Sinclair. With him cutting a swathe through defences it’s hard to see why City would go and spend money on an Argentine international. Sure, he only played about 6 minutes of Premier League football last season but that’s because Mancini was intimidated by his talent and had no idea how to harness it. I’m sure Pellegrini will turn him into the superstar he thinks he is.
Anyway, maybe this will see the floodgates open. It’s like the whole butterfly effect thing as explained so perfectly in Jurassic Park. A flap of the wings the far side of the world causes a tornado somewhere else. In fairness, it would have be a very large butterfly to do that. I would suggest it’d need to be a MegaMoth, actually, but the concept is the same.
Action and reaction, consequences and inception. Not like the inception where everybody’s dreaming and then you wake up and you’re still dreaming inside another dream, that would be seriously annoying. Especially if Leonardo di Caprio was inside your head. No transfers would get done at all with that guy. He’s a procrastinator of the worst kind. I read somewhere it takes him two hours to just have a sandwich for lunch because he can’t make his mind up what he wants.
Task him with paying €22m for a footballer and he’d be there all day. Or all week. I guess in some respects he’d fit in quite well with us, seeing as Sky Sports have been reporting we’ve been in Spain since Sunday. Perhaps, instead of sorting a transfer, Arsene is on one of those religious walks or he’s off to tend to his olive plantation. He has a 9000 acre ranch-style property just outside Sevilla that he bought in 2007. It’s currently producing 2,000 litres of extra virgin oil per week while Wenger’s stuffed olives are a delicacy at many a local tapas bar.
The place is managed by a man called Francisquito. He is half man, half mosquito. I wonder how he’d get on against a MegaMoth. That would be a battle. For all the damage his malaria-piss stinger could do to the fluttery, dusty beast, he wouldn’t as mobile in the air because he is half-man, at the end of the day. When will we learn to stop messing around with nature?
Never, that’s the answer to that, because humans are simply unable to keep their noses out of other people’s, and beast’s, lives. It’s true. If we all learned to mind our own goddam business the world would be a better place. Why people insist on trying to control the lives of people they will never meet, do not care about, and have no interest in is beyond me.
Just live and let live, right? If you want to do something, as long as it’s not illegal I could not give a fish’s tit. Go for it. Do it as much as you like. Consenting adults, women in control of their own bodies, folk having fun, all good with me. But too many people are like cats when you bring a box into a house. The cat can’t help itself. It must examine the box. It must go inside the box. Perhaps sit in it a little bit.
Which is fine, there’s a place for curiosity, but imagine if the cat decided that you weren’t allowed bring any more boxes into your home. They’d tell you it’s against cat morality or the dogma (no pun intended) of the feline race. And you’d be all: Hey, cat, shut your cat mouth. This is my home, my box, I will do what I want. Nobody would put up with cats if they kept telling us what to do (apart from feeding them … and rubbing them … er … and opening doors for them). Apart from all that.
We’d give cats short shrift let me tell you, so why do we put up with it from people. Who are not as furry and soft and sometimes lovable as cats? I wish I had the answer.
I need more coffee.
