april 8th
08.31 – Some stuff I saw yesterday.
I saw a little boy laugh so hard a big tentacle of snot shot out of his nose and as he tried to stop it, it whiplashed into his mouth. I saw a one-armed man, I think his name was Mike, rollerblading. I saw a builder fall into a hole…in his digging machine. I saw a big long snake slithering across the road, looking all green and mean until he got run over. And finally, I saw a cloud that just like Steffi Graf.
It’s weird the things you see some days, eh?
Andy Gray reckons Man United are going to win the title because they have the momentum. It will be interesting to see if their momentum can carry them through games against Real Madrid, Newcastle, Arsenal, Real Madrid or if their momentum will stop momentuming and becomes reverse momentum.
Patrick Vieira says he’s going to play through the pain to ensure Arsenal stay on track for the title, and while our challenge is being referred to as ‘suddenly shaky’, it takes Jonny Positive of the Arseblog community to point out that we’ve only lost 2 games since December, in all competitions. Yes, the 5 point lead is gone, but if Newcastle take anything from their game United and we do them at home, it all looks rosy again. So, all my mental powers are now focussed on sending good, positive, sweet smelling vibes to the lads and not on trying to get Robbie Williams to sleepwalk over a cliff.
Wimbledon boss Stuart Murdoch, now thankfully retired from hair-raising adventures with B.A, Face, Hannibal and their funky van, reckons that Moritz Volz has shown enough in his loan spell with the Dons to prove he can make it at Highbury. He says “We would have been highly delighted if he’d stayed with us but they feel he will be good enough eventually for their side.“
So, it’s all eyes on Madrid tonight. I’m hoping for a 4-1 Madrid win, van Nistelrooy to fracture his torso, Beckham to rupture his spleen chasing Roberto Carlos, Barthez to decide tonight’s a good night to start his charging out of the area antics again and Rio Ferdinand to have his face turned inside out….oh wait, if that happens to Rio it’ll mean his face is the right way around. Let’s just go with the first 3 then.
Finally for today, this is Farking excellent. This one is my fave.
