Sunday, July 21, 2024

Arseblog: Friday 11th April 2003

april 11th

08.57 – A big thank you to all of you who became Arseblog members yesterday. Members…heh. Anyway, so many of you signed up I can now afford that island I’ve always wanted and I have enough money to pay somebody else to write the site. I’m negotiating with Helen Fielding and soon this site will become ‘Vinnie Jones’s Diary’. Seriously though, thank you all, it’s much appreciated.

There’s some actual football news today, which makes quite the change. According to The Sun, AW is after Chelsea’s William Gallas. Not ‘after him’ in the sense that he’s going to duff him up after school, but after him in the ‘Oh christ I need some cunt better than Cygan and John Terry is too expensive’ sense. I am also encouraged by the Chairman’s words about AW having money to spend, “We have other costs but there is no point having a new ground if you haven’t got a decent team.”

AW could slap the Chairman’s wad out up at Elland Road as well, as it seems Peter Ridsdale’s spend-spend-spend…and what the fuck, let’s spend-spend-spend some more (£7m for Seth Johnson…..hahahaha) attitude means more of Leeds’ top players will have to go to balance the books. The target for Arsenal is goalkeeper Paul Robinson and the Gunners are set to meet Leeds’ asking price according to the Guardian.

Lauren has spoken of how much he loves it Arsenal now after some initial difficulties when he arrived first. His missus, who is from the south of Spain, missed her family and the sunshine and the sea and the climate and paella and 65 hour drinking sessions that are common in Andalucia. Lauren himself had problems because everybody teased him about his funny hairstyle, but now he and the good lady are well settled in London. He says “In my opinion, Arsenal are the best club in the world in terms of organisation. If you need something, then they are always there and all you have to focus on is giving your best.

The Arsenal players are confident ahead of Sunday’s FA Cup semi-final, despite the fact that Martin Keown is likely to be missing still. It means that Super Oleg will probably play in central defence as Pascan’t Cygimp is suspended.

Finally for today, the FA – that are so quick to punish players for slightest indiscretion – have decided to just issue a stern warning to Chelsea after Thierry Henry was hit in the eye with a scud missile during the 1/4 replay at Stamford Bridge. This is despite the fact that Chelsea fans threw a coin at him during the first game at Highbury. To be fair to Chelsea they’ve banned 27 supporters involved in the coin throwing incident, which shows you how many of their giant-brains it took to work it out.

Fan1: “Frow da coin at da Frog cahnt” Fan2: “Der?” Fan 3:“Chack dis facking coin at dat French cahnt dowen deyah” Fan 2:“Dur?”…..(some time later)…Fan 27: “You…Dewek, fling this facking coin at that facking cahnt wiv namber 14 on ‘is back…awright?” Fan 2: “Ahhhhhhhh…..why dint you facking saydat in the first place?”

They’d been planning it since the 3rd minute of the game.

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