Summer has arrived. There can be no doubt about it now. Somebody in The Sun sports desk has signalled the arrival of silly season once and for all.
Ingredients required for summer:
1 football player from a top four team
1 other top four team
1 cup of quotes from any time in the last 6 months
16oz of high-grade bullshit
6 tblsp speculation
1kg rumour
Method:
Take footballer and mix in the quotes. The more irrelevant the quotes to the actual story the better. Knead for a couple of seconds to make it look as if the quotes have something to do with what you’re writing about.
When you have a soft, pliable mixture add the other football team as potential destination for player. Whisk gently, stirring in the rumour and speculation.
Transfer to oven friendly dish, cover with bullshit, bake for 30 minutes then publish.
Voila – you have a Robin van Persie to Man United story. Seriously, what a load of old bollocks.
Elsewhere France Football’s Philippe Auclair was linking us very strongly with Bordeaux striker Marouane Chamakh. According to Phlippe in an email yesterday:
Top-class header of the ball, reasonably experienced, intelligent, and a great personality to match, within and without the dressing-room. I honestly think he’s going to be a great success.
There you go then. I can’t say I know too much about him at all. I’m surprised we’re after a striker really with other positions yet to be filled but Wenger is a strange fish at times. Not too many of us thought we needed a right back when we signed Sagna so let’s wait and see what happens here.
If it is true it would certainly mean the end for at least one of our current crop. Hey, maybe that opens the door for …. hmmmm … van Persie to go to … I dunno … Man United. D’oh. More likely it’s curtains for Adebayor, now we just need to find someone to buy him.
Emmanuel Eboue’s agent is living in a dream world. He reckons Arsenal have made an offer of a four year contract (which I seriously doubt) but Eboue would only leave for one of Italy’s big clubs. Roma and Fiorentina aren’t big enough apparently, it’s gotta be Milan or Juve or AC. Honestly, I know football agents are full of bluster and nonsense but this is right up there with the most ludicrous stuff I’ve ever heard.
Speaking of agents, the man who represents Mamadou Sakho spoke to sport.co.uk to clear up stories about the player’s future and made the whole thing even more complicated. He won’t leave but he might. He might leave for sure but it’s not certain. Nobody knows anything. Or nothing. Or something.
Update: Turns out the bloke has nothing to do with Sakho. Somewhat of an epic fail there.
Kieran Gibbs is away with England’s U21s and he’s been talking about that slip in the CL semi. Obviously he was gutted but I don’t think anyone pointed fingers at him for it. A mistake with the ball would be far more difficult to reconcile. Anyway, he seems to have a good character, Stuart Pearce has been singing his praises, particularly about his character (and whatever you think/thought about Pearce there’s no doubt he had plenty of that), so hopefully we’ll see a good scrap between himself and Gael Clichy next season. The competition should be good for them.
The Mail speculates that Philippe Senderos could be used as part of a deal to secure the signing of Felipe Melo. Less ingredients, less preparation, same summer shit pie as above.
Goodplaya’s analysis of the fixtures. The thing that stands out for me is that all the games against the other top four clubs are done by February. If we can stay in the race it means the run-in is probably the friendliest I’ve seen for years. They obviously mixed us up with United.
The other good thing, as far as I’m concerned, is the fact that the season starts with the internationals. I know the clubs will be lighting votive candles so their players don’t come back injured but I think it’s better to play them first rather than disrupt the start of the season with the lads flying off all over the place.
So there you go. Back tomorrow with more made-up stuff like Eduardo to Sp*rs, Cesc to Chelsea or Eboue to anywhere at all.
Till then.
