Dear reader,
I have spent all summer drinking like a fool. Beer, gin, rum, cocktails, white wine. I drink a vodka drink, I drink a whiskey, and when I need to pee, I use the kitchen sink. However, I have been lulled into a false sense security. I have not suffered from hangovers at all. That was brilliant.
That was also till I spent a night drinking red wine. Red, red wine, stay close to me, eeee, eeee. I have a hangover and I blame not me but the people who gave me the wine. They are to blame. We came home and went on a search for the cats in our neighbour’s garden. I went ‘pish wish wish’ looking for them, then vaulted over the wall, missed and I think I might have smashed my ankle into lots of little bits.
A few moments ago I found my clothes downstairs, two cushions from the couch with me in bed and Mrs Blogs downstairs with a skinned knee. This is not good. My brain is discombobulated and I have had to send Blogette off to her new school wearing my runners which are at least 4 sizes too big for her because all of our stuff is in a box coming from Spain. I now have no shoes at all but I am wearing her fleecey red dressing gown. So all of you who might have a hangover today at least be thankful you have some shoes. I have no shoes.
I am like a bag lady in a red dressing gown and without any bags.
Yesterday was the transfer window. It appears we have swapped Retardiño Reyes for Juilio Baptista, Cygan has gone to Villarreal and Cole and Gallas have traded places as well. Or something. Cunt off Cuntley you cunting cunt.
It seems Tevez and Mascherano have gone to West Ham on permanent deals. That makes me feel better. It is such a dodgy piece of business that there’s just no way we could ever have got them. With the greatest of respect to Dead Kenny and other West Ham fans the move surely doesn’t reflect their ambitions and is entirely based on complicated, backhander, dodgy as fuck crazy money shennanigans. Lunatic Argies. It’s just another nail in the coffin of football as we know it.
We also signed the Brazilian under 19 captain, Denilson, in a move that could cost us £4m. Sober thoughts on players, signings and the squad tomorrow.
I now have to go and buy some shoes. More blogging tomorrow unless I die in the meantime which is a distinct possibility. I could die from lack of shoes.
ps – can the secretary of the Icelandic Arsenal club email me again? I’ve lost all my email from the last couple of weeks.
pps – Arseblog was really popular yesterday too but we have our own server so you’ll never miss your daily Arse. If only all sites were so considerate.
