Getting up in the mornings is lame, especially when you have decided to have a lie-in but the Arseblog basset hound has decided he wants to go out for a poo and won’t stop whining even when you shout ‘SHUT UP ARSEBLOG BASSET HOUND. I AM TRYING TO HAVE A LIE IN’, which does nothing but make Mrs Blogs sit up in bed going ‘What the fuck is going on?’. What’s even more lame is when your blogging software decides to not publish the post you’ve just written and somehow delete it instead.
I’m surprised there isn’t more going on in terms of news, to be honest. Even the tabloids have given up making transfer stories (that hasn’t stopped Gunnerblog though) but Obafemi Martins is in The Sun talking about how he is flattered to be linked with Arsenal but prefers to stay and fight for a place at Newcastle. He’s been linked with us all summer long but it was always unlikely, what with Wenger’s policy of not signing players over the age of the 35. That’s why my move to the club didn’t happen this summer too.
Emmanuel Adebayor has illustrated this team’s unwillingness to be pushed around, saying:
A lot of players have learned that we have to fight hard to win games. We know people say ‘they are kids and don’t want to play as soon as we kick them’. But we stand up for it and we are ready for it, if they kick us we are going to want to beat that person.
I can see it in the next game. Someone will foul Cesc then Ade and Robin will grab them and force their hands behind their back. Senderos and the Flamster will produce saps from down their socks and administer a hefty beating around the face before Rosicky nips in and boots him in the balls with the outside of his foot. As he’s lying on the ground Kolo will come racing over, give him a couple of swift kicks to the head and then asks their players, in the style of Mel Gibson from Lethal Weapon, if they fancy a bit more. Meanwhile, Alex Hleb will have taken advantage of the distraction by dribbling up field, stopping the ball on the goal line and looking for a striker to pass it to.
Speaking of Hleb the boss has been singing his praises and explaining that so many of his passes don’t find a man because he’s trying to play through the eye of a needle. Perhaps his sloppy passing is just something we’ll have to put up but if he can continue having an impact on games like he has at the start of this season it’ll be easier to forgive.
The boss will have a pre-match press conference today, as per UEFA rules, so we’ll get the low down on the injury situation. Hopefully Sagna and Senderos will be back, allowing our collection of central midfielders to battle it out for a place in the middle of the park.
Ashley Cole is all over the papers today saying Chelsea can be invincible. Invincible cunts. Invincible shite eating, piss drinking, donkey fisting thundercunts. Nobody will ever come close to being as despicable as this Chelsea team. If football goes on for another million years and through the process of evolution a team is made up from hideous mutants who feast on kittens and small babies before making it compulsary to listen to Phil Collins music 23 out of every 24 hours they still couldn’t be as cunty as Chelsea.
Right, I’ve got to get my nose to the grindstone. See ya’ll tomorrow.
