Yesterday The Sun reported that in order ‘to keep Thierry Henry’ happy we were going to try and sign David Trezeguet from Juventus. Not to be outdone the Mirror reported that ‘to keep Thierry Henry’ happy we were going to buy Ajax’s Ryan Babel for £6m.
This morning I can exclusively reveal that in order ‘to keep Thierry Henry happy’ we’re going to construct an enormous gold statue of Thierry Henry in the concourse of the ground with a massive altar for people to worship at, change the name of the stadium to Thierryburton Grove and unveil a new shirt sponsor ‘Fly Thierry’ in advance of the airline he’s sure to launch at some point in the future.
The reported £40m ‘war chest’ might ‘keep Thierry Henry happy’ too. If the papers are to be believed it’s like that episode of the Simpsons where Bart has all these mad powers and everyone has to make sure he’s happy and consent to his every whim or he’ll kill them.
Tomas Rosicky says he wants to stay at Arsenal despite interest from Atletico Madrid. I don’t think we saw the best of him by any means and if he can get through the season without a series of niggly injuries I’m sure he can contribute more.
The Sun reports that Chairman PHW and Keith Edelman met with Satan Kroenke in New York yesterday. There are no details on what was said, what kind of sandwiches they had or if they made fun of his moustache. I suspect David Dein will be brought back in order to ‘keep Thierry Henry happy’ but whether he accepts the role of concierge is anyone’s guess.
After bringing you the white away kit ahead of anyone else Arseblog (thanks an eagle-eyed reader) was first to show you pictures of our third kit which could be worn in European games. As many have pointed out it could be the club trying to fool Henry into thinking he’s playing for Barcelona! Except horizontally. I have to say I much prefer to the white one which, while a smart looking kit, is not an Arsenal kit because white kits are for cunts.
Spare a thought for former Arsenal man Paolo Vernazza who has just been released by Dagenham and Redbridge. His slide down the leagues has been steady ever since he left Arsenal and it shows how much the academy has improved when the players we release now go on to have Premiership careers.
Next season’s fixtures are out this morning. Will update here on our first game. Update: We open with Fulham at home.
And that’s your lot. More tomorrow.
