Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Internet horseplay

Here’s a bargain for somebody.

Right now, via one of the world’s largest purveyors of domain names, you can get ‘havearsenalsigneddeclanriceyet.com’ for just 1 cent. That’s less than a penny in English money.

Start your business today with this exciting domain name. People will flock to it every second of every day to see if the default answer has changed from: NO to YES. At which point, of course, the website will be rendered useless.

Unless you diversify. I enjoyed one of these suggested domains further down the page.

DOT HORSE!

This is a game changer for the Internet, in my opinion. Sadly horse.horse has been taken already, but fear not, it could still be gettable with help from a jolly lad with a beard, as long as you cough up just $69.99 (payable in easy installments).

Am I tempted? Obviously. What other domain would you require for all your horse needs? Horse racing. Show jumping. Dressage. The giant wall thing. Horse supplies. Saddles. Reins. Bridles. That bit that goes between their teeth, don’t know what it’s called though. A range of high quality brushes for their majestic manes. Shoes (horse shoes, not loafers or espadrilles – horses would look silly in those).

Horse.Horse would be the one-stop shop for all your equestrian needs. I guess there probably is one already but it’s definite not got the premium name it needs to capture the imagination of the horse public.

Remember when a Newcastle fan punched a horse in the face? I think he said he was acting in self-defence, as if the horse was swinging haymakers at him. They can’t. They don’t even have fists. They have hooves. Can you get boxing gloves for hooves? No, you cannot. Hence it’s impossible for a horse to punch you.

That’s the real reason to dislike Newcastle, in my opinion. I’m no fan of their current set-up, sportswashing and all the rest, but their fans punch animals in their faces. How can you have anything but contempt for people who could clobber a badger, biff a llama, pummel a manatee, or wallop a zebra because they think it’s a horse trying to trick them by dressing as a Newcastle fan?

Anyway. Have Arsenal Signed Declan Rice Yet Dot Com.

NO.

Have a lovely Saturday, friends.

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