september 25th
07.33 – So as you know by now, The FA have charged 6 Arsenal players after the Old Trafford non-fight. You know, where nobody punched anybody and the worst you could say about it is that some Arsenal players were involved in over-enthusiastic teasing of Ruud van Nistelrooy and there were a couple of pushes that wouldn’t have knocked down a brittle-boned Granny.
Jens Lehmann, Lauren, Ashley Cole, Martin Keown, Ray Parlour and Patrick Vieira have been hit with various charges including Improper Conduct, Violent Conduct, Conduct unbecoming of an officer, Unstable Conduct, Grumpy Conduct, Leaping around Conduct and Forgetting your Manners conduct. It seems almost certain that we’ll lose Keown, Parlour and Lauren to bans, Vieira already serves a one match ban for his sending off, and Lehmann and Cole will probably receive fines.
Arsenal Football Club have been charged with failing to properly control their players, and seeing as how the club already has a suspended fine (to the best of my knowledge) there’s likely to be a dent made in the Highbury coffers. The club also released a statement from the Board of Directors. “The Club demands high standards both on and off the field and the Board believes these were not met last Sunday. Arsène Wenger has already addressed the players on this issue.”
As well as that, Arsene Wenger has been asked to explain his remarks about Ruud van Nistelrooy after the game. How difficult is that going to be?
The FA: “Mr Wenger, why did you call Ruud a diver and a cheat?”
Arsene Wenger: “Well, basically it’s because he’s a diver and a cheat.”
There were a couple of token charges for 2 or 3 United players, but quite frankly I couldn’t give a fish’s tit about them. I’m not even going to go into a rant about the FA, because it’s just going to mean I repeat stuff I’ve said here plenty of times before. Bottom line for me is that this is a monstrous over-reaction to the hype created by Sky and The Sun and all the other parts of Rupert Murdoch’s media empire that have a significant shareholding in Manchester United – as has been pointed out elsewhere. It’s in their interests to replay Arsenal’s misdemeanours while conveniently forgetting those of other clubs, especially Manchester United. Arsenal fans know what I’m talking about. What happened at Old Trafford has only been such big news because it involved Arsenal and United and we were the villains of the piece.
Arsenal, Arsene Wenger and the players charged have 14 days in which to respond.
Yesterday, I made this and posted it on the Arseblog forum, and on the arses. Chris over at Arsenal World put it in his news headlines. One regular Arseblog reader sent it to the Independent for their view and got this response: “It would be absolutely hilarious if I hadn’t had to spend almost my entire day replying to readers to tell them that it’s a spoof and not actually written by James Lawton.
Chris Maume
Sports News Editor.“
Robert Pires wants his place in the team back. “I was disappointed not to be in the team [on Saunday] but it was a tactical decision by the manager and you have to respect that.” Brazilian left-back Juan has returned to the club after being on loan at Milwall.
Last two days in my current job. I sense they’re going to be full of hard work and productivity.
