june 19th
I have just been woken by the loudest clap of thunder I have ever heard. The air is damp and heavy, it’s going to piss rain and I suspect we’re in for quite the lightning show too. I hadn’t had a drop to drink all week so last night I thought I’d enjoy a few refreshing G&Ts. It’s amazing how much the drink makes you completely and utterly fucked the next day. My head is throbbing more than Jonathan King at an S-Club Juniors concert.
Of course, there are people coming to view my house this morning. 10.15 they’re due to be here and no doubt it will be raining, muggy and minging. You’ve never seen a country as ugly as Spain in the rain. Forget your Bangladesh floods, when it rains here everything looks like it’s been smeared in some kind of viscous, rotten jism. It’s sort of like the way everything looks when you’ve been up all night drinking and whatever else, and you have to go from your friend’s house to your own at 9am when everyone else has had a good night’s sleep and you’ve forgotten your sunglasses. If you’ve been there you’ll know exactly what I mean.
And my car…you might remember we waited nearly 4 months for a part then the cunts stiffed us with a bill we couldn’t afford to pay. So we came to an arrangement with the garage that they could sell the car, take their bill out of the proceeds and we’d take the rest. Well, that was nearly 6 weeks ago, the lazy cunts, so we went down and put some signs up inside the windscreen etc with the price, car specs and our phone number. Less than 24 hours later Jose-Maria Cochevendor rings up giving out that he’d brought a client to the car, which they have left parked on a side-street all this time, and the client saw the signs and this created a problem. The problem is that we agreed a price with the garage and this is the price we put on our ‘for sale’ signs. He was obviously trying to sell it for extra and was going to pocket the rest. The sneaky bollix.
Anyway, as you’ll have gathered there’s little Arsenal related news around this morning. Freddie played for the Swedes as they drew 1-1 with the Spitalians. Now, I’m off to sweep the stairs. And find some nurofen.
