Happy Sunday to you all.
I see from looking around in a perfunctory fashion that Kai Havertz did bits for Germany last night as they beat Bosnia and Herzegovina 7-0 (seven). Here’s his goal. Does that make up for the fact I once spent two weeks living in an Ibis hotel in a business park on the outskirts of Berlin? Absolutely not. I think Kai, and by extension the rest of the German people, owe me more – but I will accept goals from Havertz in an Arsenal shirt by way of compensation.
The Guardian, May 26th 2025
Kai Havertz says that he hopes the 31 goals he scored between December and May, which helped catapult Arsenal to their first Premier League title since 2004, will be sufficient for the owner of arseblog.com after he endured two weeks in a 2 star hotel in Berlin over 20 years ago.
“It’s been on my mind for so long,” said the German striker who was just 6 years old when the Irishman in question had a fortnight of ‘continental breakfasts’ in an era before complimentary WiFi in hotels was a thing.
“We take for granted free and easy Internet access, but back then you had to buy a voucher for €5.95 and you would only get 30 minutes. That was barely time to check your emails, let alone update a blog.
“Hopefully the matter can now be laid to rest, and this dark stain on our nation’s history can be forgotten.”
The Arsenal blogger in question was approached for comment, and The Guardian received the following response: “They got those big chewy pretzels here merJanthfgrr…… five dollars??!!!? Get outta here!”
Meanwhile, sources close to Manchester City have said Erling Haaland is on life support having overdosed on Humble Pie. Pep Guardiola said, “I said to him, you don’t need to eat all the pie. So so so so much pie, but he did it anyway.
“Is a very strange boy.”
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Meanwhile, the North London derby yesterday went in Arsenal’s favour as goals from Alessia Russo, Frida Maanum and Stina Blackstenius gave us a 3-0 win at White Hart Lane. Report and goals here, Renee Slegers reaction here. What a great job she has done since the departure of Jonas Eidevall, and surely she’s in the running to be a permanent replacement.
You can find out more tomorrow when Tim and Jamie drop a new Arsenal Women Arsecast, and I’m sure that will be part of the conversation.
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Now though, I think I will down tools. It’s a Sunday, and it’s the Interlull. I am cognisant of giving you guys something to read, but also of my own need to not do anything at all today. The balance feels about right at this exact moment. A bit more and it’ll tip the other way.
I will leave you with this: despite the fact I think I am quite a decent cook, I am so very bad at wrapping a burrito. If I make something like a chicken wrap at home, it’s never closed up properly to stop the contents falling out each end, and it looks like it was put together by someone with no fingers on one hand, and Hellboy’s giant fist on the other.
Food for thought, eh? Have a good one.
