Friday, May 24, 2024

Keane ✅ Kane ❌


As much as I love football, as I’ve gotten older I just can’t watch Tottenham. I don’t know what it is precisely – it’s probably something to do with the fact they win more games than they used to, and I have zero interest in seeing them happy.

Last night, I switched on my TV just to have a quick look at the score. It was 0-0. Literally within half a second, Michael Keane made a foul in the box and they had a penalty. I’m sorry Everton. I did that. If I hadn’t turned on Keane would have got the ball cleanly. Yes, that sounds insane, but I believe it to be true. I hate-watched for a couple of minutes, hoping that Kane might miss but he didn’t so I turned off, disgusted with myself for my contribution to the night’s action.

I hadn’t even realised that Everton were down to 10 men after some frankly pathetic theatrics from the lionhearted England captain. Is it a red card? Sure. Is Kane a flimsy little spanner? Also sure. Some will say he was just making sure the referee knew there had been contact, but he still looked like a massive baby, rolling around on the ground like a kindergarten child who claimed a goal when he never touched the ball and when the PE teacher said ‘I’m sorry little Harold that’s not your goal’, he threw a strop and wouldn’t calm down until he was credited with it.

Then I saw some Twitter stuff, and whenever you see this Tweet doing the rounds, you know something good has happened.

First up, Lucas Moura got a straight red for a horrendous challenge on Michael Keane. It’s one of those where you feel like a three game ban isn’t quite enough. Like the Jonny one for Wolves last week (although I’d be slightly more lenient with him because I just find the name Jonny hilarious because I haven’t outgrown my teenage self completely).

Thankfully Michael Keane was all right because it was he who strode forward in the 90th minute and smashed home an unbelievable equaliser to salvage what could be a huge point for Everton. But more importantly, it meant that lot didn’t win which is always a good thing.

There’s a pretty full week of Premier League action ahead. Tonight, Liverpool are away to Chelsea who sacked Graham Potter after their 2-0 defeat to Aston Villa. The Mugsmashers’ away record this season is really very bad. If you break the table down into away games only, they’re in 13th with just three wins from fourteen games. At home it’s a very different story, only Man City and Arsenal have been stronger this season, and let’s not forget that our next game is away at Anfield.

Having been spanked 4-1 by Man City at the weekend, I’m kinda glad they have another game tonight, rather than looking to make up for that performance against us. I guess the ideal thing would be for them to win in such a way that they feel somewhat restored, but not in a way which imbues them with a massive confidence boost. Let’s see what happens.

For more on the weekend’s Premier League action, as well as thoughts on the sackings of Rodgers/Potter – there’s a new episode of The 30 over on Patreon right now.

Elsewhere, The FA have provided the latest payments to intermediaries (agents), broken down by club. Arsenal were quite active in the market last summer, and as such paid out a total of £16,749,072. Substantial enough. But when you look at Chelsea and Man City, it’s dwarfed by the £43,160,072 and £51,563,571 they spent.

Considering Arsenal’s expenditure came from 8 players added to the senior squad (Jesus, Zinchenko, Turner, Vieira, Marquinhos, Trossard, Jorginho and Kiwior), and City’s comes from just four additions – the long-standing rumours of how much went to the agents of Haaland make some sense. To be fair, it’s not just about arrivals, these fees include contract renewals, and so on, but it’s still a huge gulf and demonstrates their financial firepower in a really obvious way.

It’s a curious thing that Arsenal winning makes the time between games quite quiet from a news perspective. However, that is not a complaint. I hope it’s as quiet as this for the rest of the season, for obvious reasons.

Have a good one.

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