Interlull: And the Oscar goes to …

You know the way the bible talks about that old story about God creating the world in 7 days? You would think, given he has all eternity to sit around afterwards, and that humans aren’t really that interesting after millions of years, that he would have taken his time. Stretched it out a bit so he’d have something to do.

‘And on the 9th day God created the mountains and they were all mountainy and that’

‘On the 15th day God said ‘Let there be dinosaurs will fliddy arms and big teeth’ and there were dinosaurs with fliddy arms and big teeth’.

‘On the 27th day God farted and followed through and it inspired him to make Sp*rs’.

‘And on the 945th day, having made everything there ever is, God had totally run out of ideas so he got all the bits of crap and rubbish and made international football’.

To think, God invented Phil Collins before he invented international football. Us regular, normal folk, whose lives are simple and revolve around football and beer only have the beer part to keep us going for two week spells. has a list of the players away on international duty but as I mentioned yesterday there’s a bigger than normal contingent staying home. All of our centre-halves are on the training ground, bar Vermaelen whose injury remains a concern I’m told, all of our goalkeepers except Wojscez©®, most of our strikers, so there’s plenty the manager can do to put things right.

He’s without September’s player of the month, Jack Wilshere. From being a young man whose future for this season was undecided quite close to kick off he’s now an integral part of the team. He has the trust of the manager and the players and has taken his chance very well indeed. The award is no less than he deserves really.

Which is why Arsene Wenger has sent out a warning to Stuart Pearce about the way he’s been called up the U21 squad, speaking of ‘little battles’ in the FA between the senior and more junior squads. Pearce has replied saying he’s only thinking of the player and denying there’s any rift between himself and our manager. He also says:

Jack is one of the youngest members of the Under-21 squad and for me it is vital that he plays as much football as he can.

Which, I imagine, is what Arsene Wenger is worried about. Having played in every Arsenal game this season there’s the risk of burn-out but that’ll be the manager’s concern, not Jack’s. At 18 he’ll want to play in every game going, the enthusiasm of youth and all that. So far he seems a robust sort of player, let’s hope he stays that way.

Meanwhile, Abou Diaby talks about why he joined Arsenal, refusing an offer from Chelsea at the time, and lays out his ambition for the future:

I dream of winning the Ballon d’Or. I hope to win it one day. There is no shame in saying that.

Absolutely not. I also hope the win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. There’s no shame in saying that. Don’t judge me. It’s also as likely as Abou winning the Ballon d’Or. Though wouldn’t it be magical if we both proved you all wrong? Man, the things I would say in my speech.

Meanwhile, in Germany, things are not going well for Sylvester. The Sporting Director of Werder Bremen said:

His playing style is remarkably slow and he makes many mistakes

Now, I’ll stand to be corrected on this, but it’s almost as if they’ve never seen him play. All it would have taken was one Arsenal game in the last couple of seasons to realise that he is to pace what Sarah Palin is to reading newspapers and he is to competent defending what Kaba Diawara was to clinical finishing. Caveat emptor, and all that.

Finally for today the Telegraph reports that Arsene’s transfer kitty will be boosted by more property sales. So that’s more money he won’t spend … hahahahaha … oh … etc.

And on that totally non-clichéd and unfunny note we’ll leave it there, hoping for something, anything, to happen between now and tomorrow.

Stoopid Interlulls.


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