Sunday, December 4, 2022

The scary keeper situation gets scarier

Some things you never want to hear:

– “Good morning from the flight deck ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot John Denver with second in command Steve Fossett”.

– “What’s that cabby? You want to play Nicki Lauda on the motorway?”

– “This will be your home for the next fifteen years. And here’s your cellmate Rapey Jim”.

– “By special ordinance of the Grand Dictator, Supreme Ruler of All Worlds, today shall be known as ‘Play Sussudio by Phil Collins at 11 volume over and over again’ day”.

– “I thirsted for it, like it were some kind of bewitching mead that would give sustenance to my very soul. This younger man’s DNA, without it I felt powerless and limp”- from ‘Xavi, the audiobook biography’ as read by Joe Pasquale.

“Seamus, does this potato look funny to you”.

“Of course that player coming back from a long injury is like a new signing”.

“Kids, this is your new mum … Trevor”.

“I want to become the No1 in the Arsenal goal. Of course I don’t know if I will play but I do believe I will as I played in many of the pre-season friendlies” – Lukasz Fabianski

If there’s anything to be learned from the fact that Fabianski has played more than Almunia I don’t know but the closer we get to Sunday the more fear I’ve got that he’ll actually start. From speaking to one or two other bloggers they also think it’s more likely that he’ll start the game than not.

As I said after the Legia game I kind of feel sorry for him. He’s like that clumsy waiter from the Simspons. If falling over Vermaelen’s leg isn’t bad enough the fates will conspire to have him collide with the post then boot a goal kick into his own net, or something. I don’t know what he did in a previous life but I just get the feeling he’s not done being punished yet.

You can’t fault his desire, ambition, attitude or any of that. The only thing you can fault are his goalkeeping abilities which are, sadly, a bit spacky, quite the drawback for a goalkeeper you have to say. At this point I don’t see any kind of signing before Sunday and if that’s the case then I would much prefer to see Almunia, or Mannone, or Wojscez©®, or George Wood, or Vince Bartram in goal.

The Spaniard is clearly the best keeper we’ve got at this moment in time. AW could play Fabianski and he could do well, it’s not impossible, but if that did happen it wouldn’t be a case of the player justifying the manager’s faith in him, more a case of a serious gamble which didn’t fail. Yet. It’s just too big a risk to play him on Sunday. With so many players absent, and youngsters like Frimpong and Wilshere ready to fill those gaps, we need as much solidity as possible. Fabianski gives the team, let alone the fans, the jitters, Almunia has to start.

Fabianski continues:

I believe I am good enough to play regularly in a Premier League team

Could I suggest Sp*rs? Please.

The Sun says this morning that Mark Schwarzer has handed in a transfer request at Fulham, so eager is he to make a move to Arsenal. Who can blame him? If I had to listen to Mark Hughes I’d do just the same.

I mean, look at Philippe Senderos who is so unwilling to work for Hughes that he ruptured his own achilles tendon in training yesterday and will spend 9 months out. In seriousness though, that’s a nasty injury, and I hope he recovers well. Poor bloke can’t catch a break. Must have had lessons from Fabianski.

Meanwhile Samir Nasri says he owes something to Joey Barton. No, really. He says:

During one of my first matches in England, we played Newcastle  and Barton tried to intimidate me. It definitely made me a better player.

I think I remember that game. Barton was his usual snarling self and after being brought on as a sub he launched into a tackle on Nasri which was very hard but I think, for once, quite fair. A few moments later as Barton ran past, Nasri tapped his ankles and sent him flying. Most amusing, as was Kevin Keegan’s overreaction afterwards:

Joey got a good tackle in on Nasri and then the guy just sliced him down

Sliced him down, heh. Fun times. No doubt we’ll revisit this when Newcastle return to the Grove in November.

Some transfer news – Kyle Bartley has joined Sheffield United on loan for the season while young Dutchman Nacer Barazite has had a trial at Rangers. Nothing about players coming in but then we all know transfer stories are generally a load of old bollocks anyway.

And that’s about that. The stupid international friendlies organised by stupid FIFA and stupid UEFA take place today. Fingers crossed everyone comes home safe and sound, then we can really start looking forward to Sunday.

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