Bloody hell man. I am most *boilked* indeed. I was at the wedding of some chums last night. A beautiful couple they were, shame about the rest of us, although I was told a couple of times that I looked like a contract killer in my quite sharp indeed suit. It’s something I’m considering if this recession gets any worse. Don’t ask me for prices just yet, I’ll let you know when I’ve got Assassinblog up and running.
So, onto the Arsenal news to help me forget my head is pounding like a pretty boy’s arse in prison. Since the game against Olympiakos much of the discussion has been about Carlos Vela, undoubtedly pretty but not in prison, and how he’s a bit rubbish and useless and totally Mexican in the sense that he’s Swine Flu and not any of the good stuff to come from Mexico like … erm … quesadillas! Anyway, Arsene pays no heed to what any of us think, and mostly he’s probably correct in that regard, so while we’ve been bemoaning the lack of GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLS from Carlitos, he’s signed a new long term deal at the club.
Naturally, being rubbish and useless and totally Mexican, Carlos is very excited while Arsene Wenger said:
Let’s remember, he is still only 20 years-old, so there is still a huge amount to come from this boy. We have invested a lot of time in Carlos, as we put him in Spain for two years to get some good experience. Now he’s back with us, we’re working hard with him every day and he is a very exciting player. We’re looking forward to seeing Carlos score many goals in an Arsenal shirt for a long time to come.
Which seems entirely reasonable to me this morning. Come Sunday afternoon when he’s scored his third goal, on top of Arshavin’s five, I’ll sit back and say ‘You know, I always thought he was going to be a really good player’. In all seriousness though, he is only 20. The lucky little cunt. I’d love to be 20. Vamos Carlos!
Meanwhile, Theo Walcott, who has just signed up to write a series of children’s books, is looking forward to Sunday’s game at Anfield. He has dismissed claims that he’s injury prone saying the fact that he is prone to injuries isn’t relevant at all, and says that he’s, you know, totally up for it and stuff:
Hopefully if I get a start I will play my heart out. I was a Liverpool fan when I was younger and I have always played very well there. It always brings back happy memories, so if I am called on from the bench hopefully I’ll do a job.
I would like nothing more than for Theo to recreate that run about 7 times, each one resulting in a tap in for Vela or Arshavin. He’s played very little this season, Theo, so games will help. I don’t see him starting, to be honest, but he’s certainly got a role to play after Arshavin’s 5th makes it 5-4 to us. He can help kill off the game.
Lukasz Fabianski is out to get Almunia but hopefully he goes about it in a nice way because Almunia is a nice chap. I think Jens might have broken Manuel’s head a bit, you know. Think about it. If he’s prepared to have a piss in a bin in the middle of a game there’s pretty much nothing he wouldn’t do in training. Anyway, the Polish dude wants into the first team, saying:
I want to put Manuel under as much pressure as possible. What else can you do? You have to work hard every time you have an opportunity to show what you can do. We will see what happens. I hope he will be happy with that competition. I am preparing myself to play in every single game and I am ready to play in the Premier League.
Yes! That’s exactly the kind of ‘can do’ attitude we need around this place. None of this ‘can’t do’ stuff which is the opposite of ‘can do’. However, I suspect our goalkeepers are going to be dodgy as fuck until we get them a proper kit. Who can play well in light grey? How can you possibly intimidate the opposition and look big when you’re in such an insipid shade of a shirt? We need to get back to proper keeper green and then our netminderators will be powerful and strong and not look just a couple of twats in grey. Sort it out, Mike. I mean, Nike.
Aaron Ramsey speaks about how he’s doing stuff about things to get in the team and that. You can read it for yourself. I have to admit I’m developing a bit of a football crush on him. Which is probably bad news for the young man. I mean, my stalking days are over and all, what with the court case, but I’m not renowned for backing winners. The guilt I have over Philippe haunts me every day. Every day.
Some early team news ahead of Sunday – Eboue is out with a dislocated larnyx and a massive dropsy but we could have Eduardo and Diaby back who will both compete in the in-club betting game to see who can get injured again the quickest. I hear Cesc has £20 on Diaby. There are still ‘doubts’, but not serious ones I hope, over Arshavin, Traore, Cesc, Gallas, Vermaelen, Senderos, Sagna, Nasri, Vela, Walcott, Denilson, Song, Ramsey, Wilshere, Merida, Almunia, Fabianski, Mannone, Sylvester and Jimmy Carter but hopefully we’ll have enough fit players to make up 11 on Sunday. If not, Arsene says ‘Bring your boots!’. You never know.
Alisher Usmanov has upped his stake … that makes me think of him vomiting up chunks of steak. Then eating them again, making a kind of ‘Rarglarrarglarnomnomnom’ noise, because he’s such a horrible fat cunt. Anyway, he’s bought some more shares and now owns 26.something% of the club.
Right, time for the winners of the Football Ambassador competition – and the three winners of the Eddie Hapgood autobiography, with thanks to GCR Books, are: Matt Pritchard (who won because of this – it made me laugh and it’s my site, dammit, I’ll do what I like), as well as Stuart Lilley and Colin Bosworth who got picked by the RNG. I’ll be in touch to get details and such like from you. Thanks again to Greg at GCR Books for the prizes.
Finally for today, the Arsecast. On this week’s show I chat to the editor of the Online Gooner, Kevin Witcher, about Theo, ‘Project Wenger’ and more. There’s Sylvester, a poem from Tony Adams and the usual guff. As well as that there’s the winner of the Savile Rogue scarf competition, a chance to win another scarf – and a reminder that until Dec 13th, the Roguers have kept the discount for Arseblog readers open. At check-out use the code ARSEBLOG and you get a 10% discount on your purchase – and a Savile Rogue scarf is the perfect Christmas present for anyone who needs a scarf.
You can subscribe to the Arsecast on iTunes by clicking here. Or if you want to subscribe directly to the feed URL you can do so too. To download this week’s arsecast directly – click here (23mb MP3) or you can listen directly below without leaving this very page.
Right, I think I need to lie down. Or eat bacon. Or eat bacon lying down. That sounds like fun. Till tomorrow.
