Friday, May 17, 2024

Hull preview + Saturday round-up

Hull City visit the Grove for the first time since the FA Cup game back in March. We all know what happened and what was alleged to have happened afterwards and while Arsene Wenger is willing to leave it all in the past I’m sure Arsenal fans won’t be slow to let Phil Brown and his assistant, Brian Horton, know what they think of him and his team.

What Brown did with Hull was quite remarkable. And I don’t mean footballing achievement. From being a team most people had plenty of time for, let’s not forget they were generously applauded by some Arsenal fans after their league win last season, his antics as the campaign went on ensured he became a running joke and his team suffered. The on-pitch team talk at Man City, the Cescgate incident, the execrable singing on the final day of the season, reports of dressing room bust-ups with players – all these things made Brown a clown, if you’ll pardon this early morning freestyling.

So while there’s always pleasure in winning a game of football, and we know we have to take three points today, those three points would be made all the sweeter knowing it’ll push Brown a touch closer to the exit door and his team closer to relegation. I’ve been dying for this game since last season. I don’t just want to beat them, I want us to hammer them beyond all recognition. And I want Cesc to come on the pitch in his puffa-hoody afterwards and gloat like Gloaty O’Toole, the gloatiest man in all of Ireland.

Of course what I want and what will actually happen are generally miles apart. For example, Arshavin’s shot last weekend didn’t remove Carragher’s head from his shoulders before it went in. We went into this game last season with a poor attitude. They were the newly promoted minnows, we were the Arsenal who just had to turn up to beat them, and we all know how that ended up. As well as that we go into the game without Cesc and van Persie, two of our most important players. We’re down to our 4th choice left back, the keeper is emanating an ooze of haplessness, there’s no Bendtner either and the strikers we do have are about as good at scoring goals at the moment as I am at tightrope walking on unicycle with my eyes closed and one of my ears cut off dressed in Eboue’s tiger suit.

What I’m trying to say is that we’re going to have to really put in a good shift to make up for all that and to win a game against a team that are going to be rightly fired up for this. Because make no mistake, as much as we think Phil Brown is the nature’s most hideous error, he’ll be looking for the win which will allow him to sweep what happened last season under the carpet. He couldn’t have looked more like a cock if he’d tried and that is going to be prime motivation for him today. To look less like a cock. One thing you have to give Brown credit for is his ability to look like a cock and a cunt in the same minute. He’s a footballing hermaphrodite.

There’s nothing new in terms of team news. Denilson is back. That’s it. Cesc and Traore may return for the Villa game. After being three weeks away three weeks ago Gael Clichy now three weeks away again. So either he’s had a set-back or he’s existing in a dimension where time moves really, really slowly. I suspect the latter. The lads who are fit though will have to step it up. We’ve all worried about Eduardo and Theo and Vela, hopefully today’s the day when they show they’ve got some of what it takes, at least. Let’s see that they can win us games.

Keeping my fingers crossed that we can cope with the absences and the recent poor form and use Hull and Brown as a glowing orange springboard and a confidence booster ahead of what’s going to be a massive game against Villa next weekend.

In a quick round-up of the other news there are the usual bits and pieces from Arsene’s press conference yesterday. As I said, I’m not interested in the fixture congestion stuff (although the boss did get some support from Martin O’Neill regarding his comments), but the press boys did ask him about it. Arsene was in one of his funny moods and his comment about taking the heat off Tiger Woods made me laugh.

He spoke about transfers and as ever we’re no wiser as to his intentions. He said that he has found good quality in January before, citing Arshavin and Adebayor as examples of mid-season business, and said the only thing that will stop him buying is not being able to find the requisite quality of player.

However, he’s not expecting a busy transfer window in general, saying:

It is certainly the worst financial situation in football [that I have seen] in 13 years. Many clubs struggle in the Championship, many clubs struggle everywhere… when you have players out on loan, they struggle with the wages of the players. It is difficult and for the first time I see empty seats.

It’s true enough but as he said the only thing that’ll stop us buying is finding the right player … for the right price of course. His comments about ‘You don’t make one pound and spend two’ are typically Arsene but ultimately make much sense. Not everyone is going to find a sugar daddy to bail them out or make them competitive and probably for too long football clubs have lived beyond their means.

Arsene also confirmed the story that Owen Coyle had asked about Jack Wilshere going on loan to Burnley and said he’d be open to it because of the way Burnley play football etc. However, he said he’d have to have some assurances that Jack would be involved but also said because of the injuries we have he’s part of our squad most weeks. So, in an ideal world, when we have everyone fit, a loan spell would probably be a good thing for the young man. The chances of us having everyone fit though, are somewhat slim.

There’s more in the Mail about Arsenal’s youth system and Arsene has nice things to say about Steve Bould and his development as a coach. You have to think he’s gone about things the right way. He didn’t jump straight into management like Tony Adams, for example. He’s learning his trade, working with young players and gaining experience in a fantastic set-up at Arsenal. It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if he went on to be a good manager, and who knows, he could be the right man to take over from Arsene when the time comes.

Ok then, if you’re going today, wrap up nice and warm, get right behind the lads and bring your sunglasses lest the orange hue of Mr CockCunt damage your retinas.

COME ON YOU REDS!

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