I hate the cold. Have I ever mentioned that? I think I might have. It’s cold this morning. The worst part though is that it’s not even really that cold and when it starts to get colder and colder I’m going to like it even less. I’ve been campaigning for a Blogs Family move to Equatorsville where it’s warm all the time but as Mrs Blogs rightly points out they have their own problems there, what with monsters, political upheaval and monsters. And they have monsters.
However, for those of you feeling the cold fear not. There’s something a bit later on in this blog for you. As we’re right into the Interlull now the news is drying up. The club have confirmed that newly crowned Danish Player of the Year, Nicklas Bendtner, has had his hoo-ha operated on and will be out for about three to four weeks. Initial reports suggested he’d be gone until the new year so that’s some good news. How much we miss him remains to be seen.
We have lots of little mobile nippy guys but not too many mobile lummoxes and what Bendtner gives us in terms of physicality and workrate makes up for what other players don’t. Still, with most of November written off because of the internationals hopefully we can cope. You do wonder though with Theo permanently injured and Carlos Vela desaparecido if the manager regrets his decision not to sign Shakatak in the summer.
Speaking of players being out injured Arsene blames November. He says:
Traditionally November has not been a good month for us. But I explain that by the fact we had more injuries, it is the first period when they kick in.
I’m not sure I understand. Do our players bodies go “It’s November! Time to twang that hamstring”? What happens at the training ground?
“Good morning, Tomas! How are you today?”
“I am fine boss. Feeling great. Ship shape. Top of the world. Eager beaver. Ready as I’ll ever be”.
“It’s November 1st today you know”.
“Really … ooops … my knee just fell off!”
“Oh November, when will you ever learn? Hahaha”.
“Hahaha indeed. There goes my spinal cord!”
Maybe we’ve just been unlucky or maybe one November years ago Arsene did something that was really, really bad luck and it has cursed him ever since. They used to say that if you ran around Serge Gainsbourg three times backwards saying the Hail Mary it would break any curse you had on you. Sadly, with his passing, that is no longer possible. I’m told Arsene tried it with Serge Blanco one day but it did nothing but make him a bit dizzy and need to sit down with a stiff Pernod.
Kieran Gibbs talks about the World Cup and his chances of going while Eduardo talks about the World Cup and why Croatia aren’t going. Eduardo also talks a a bit about Arsenal too.
Did you ever wonder what might happen if you had a brilliant footballer who was cripplingly shy and who hated the idea of being on television? Could he play in a mask of some kind, like Zorro? Or maybe the club would have to employ a special effects person to make him up in a range of different and hilarious latex disguises – like in that Eddie Murphy film where he appears as an old Jewish guy and the only way you know it’s Eddie Murphy is because he’s about as funny as watching your new puppy being raped by a Gorgon wearing a Sp*rs shirt. I should probably wonder about other stuff, really.
Right then, for those of you feeling the cold the best way to not feel the cold is to put a scarf on. “Wear something around your neck”, I always remember my father shouting at me as I went out the door. Apparently not covering ones neck in cold weather increases the possibility of all kinds of illnesses such as distemper and tonsilitis.
But I would not have you put on any old scarf, no sir/madam/transgendered person. I would have you put on a 100% cashmere Savile Rogue scarf, only the finest scarf known to humanity. To win it, simply answer the following question:
Name the odd one out : a) John Terry’s Dad b) Phil Brown’s son c) My next door neighbour’s beagle
Answers to: [email protected], winners announced on Friday.
Thanks to my good chums at Savile Rogue. Right, that’ll have to do, till tomorrow.
