As we don’t play until tomorrow it means there’s no point previewing the game today. Because the game is tomorrow. And if I preview it today it means tomorrow’s blog is going to be rather brief. I may have to get creative and just post a drawing I did or something. And as my scanner is bollixed it’d have to be a drawing I did with the mouse which will make that drawing look like it was done by Dribbly O’Toole, the club-footed window licker with the strength of ten men and a series of unfortunate moles all over his face.
Nobody needs that. Apart from Dribbly’s mum but she’s so lost in a haze of daytime TV and cheap Shiraz she’ll never even notice.
Anyway, Arsene Wenger met the media yesterday, as is the norm, and they asked him questions and he answered those questions and from those answers come ‘articles’ which contain the words of the answers to the questions he was asked.
Obviously there was a bit of chat about him seeing as he’s now Arsenal’s longest serving manager. And despite the fact a man of his experience and undoubted wealth could go out to his local laurel emporium and buy a shit load of laurels to rest on he’s not going to do that. He says:
I question myself every day. I question myself every time and ask how I can be better, how can I improve and how can I get this team to achieve what I believe is in them.
It’s common amongst great people to do that. I question myself every single day. It’s true.
“Where the fuck are my keys?”, “What did you do that for?”, “Why don’t you sort your life out?” and “Would you please shut the fuck up? I’m trying to find my keys” amongst the most common.
Of course Arsene can’t go on forever and he’s hinted that Thierry Henry might be the right man to take the Arsenal hot-seat at some point in the future. He said:
Being a manager is a sacrifice for the rest of your life, not everybody is ready for that. It’s nothing to do with intelligence or capabilities. But certainly Thierry is obsessed with football, yes. He even watched our Reserve team on television last year.
Pffff, I watched the reserves last week and Henry is busy playing for some bunch of Spanish mumphounds and going around with Tiger Woods and Roger Federer having cosy ‘Let’s shave each other’ parties for Gillette. Note the subtle product placement there? Apparently it’s the best a man can get. I don’t shave very often though. It’s annoying. What was my point? See, there I go questioning myself again.
The boss spoke about Andrei Arshavin in glowing terms. More glowing than the Russian’s cheeks after five minutes of a game. He said:
I believe he has a big challenge in front of him because he made his team in Russia, St Petersburg win, and if he manages to make Arsenal win he will become an all-time great.I just love Arshavin as a footballer because he has things that are just down to him.
He is intelligent and he looks like he is a shrewd street-player because he creates something always in unexpected situations. He has a low centre of gravity, great pace and tricky dribble. He uses all that he has in the locker in an intelligent way and don’t forget he is a winner as well.
Some players are blessed with that low centre of gravity, mostly because they’re closer to the ground than others. Did Kanu have a high centre of gravity? If you cut a length of Peter Crouch’s legs off and stitched him back together would he have a low centre of gravity or would he just be a crippled, disgustingly scarred freak? It’s an experiment worth considering either way.
But Arshavin. There’s lots to love about him. He’s brought an Owlishness to our team which we’ve never had before. I often thought Francis Jeffers looked a bit like a Double-crested Cormorant but the Russian can do things with a ball that Jeffers could only dream about doing as he lay on the physio’s couch. We should probably have had him put down, you know. It would have been best for all. I’m straying off point again, aren’t I?
I do agree with Arsene though. This is a big season for Andrei, he’s one of the most experienced players in the team, possibly the best player in the team, and he’s simply got to win us a trophy single-handedly or we’ll have him Jeffersed. In the face.
AW was also bigging up Big Dane Nicklas Bendnter. Now that he’s like that bloke from that film about that plane that crashed and he was the only survivor and he went a bit mental with that one who speaks with that really awful voice, you have to hope it will liberate him a bit. A bit of ‘devil may care’ in his performances which should bring about more goals. The manager certainly has a lot of confidence in him, let’s hope he repays that. With goals. And possibly a rocket of a shot which smashes David Dunn’s stupid big head in tomorrow.
I hate his stupid big head. It’s like an inflated cartoon head. Stick a couple of handles on the top of it and you could use it as a space hopper.
Right, that will have to do. I’ve got cold pizza and Playstation ahead of me this morning. And no, you can’t come over.
I’m too grumpy for vistors.
