Morning all, if I had the choice here are the top three things I would do with Chelsea striker Salomon Kalou.
- I would make him play the hind quarters of a pantomime donkey in a post-apocolyptic rom-com featuring Jennifer Aniston as the woman who fell for the front part of the donkey until the front part of the donkey died from radiation poisoning but in the end she realises that true love can be found with the other part and they live happily ever after … until Kalou grows an enormous beak which devours her as they sleep.
- He could become my official food taster especially in countries where I have many enemies such as Belgium, the Congo, El Salvador and Ireland.
- I would convince him that I was a master sculptor, capable of producing works finer than Michaelangelo’s David or the great big clay head that blinder made of Lionel Richie in the video for ‘Hello’ and have him pose in a very awkward manner … then take 15 years to complete the sculpture at which point his body would be frozen in that ghastly position and people would think he was some kind of monster or highly crippled war veteran.
One of the things I wouldn’t do with Salomon Kalou is sign him for Arsenal, but then this is just more proof, if it were needed, that Arsene Wenger and I are very different.
Various reports this morning suggest we’ve made a £6m bid for the Chelsea striker. Pfff. I have to say he’s never particularly inspired me and our record of buying players from that lot hasn’t exactly been great in the last few years. Maybe AW’s thinking it’d be a case of third time lucky and if there’s any truth to this at all it’s probably a sign that things with Chamakh have reached breaking point.
I know this is more than likely just more transfer fiction but stories like this always make me a bit worried because what is more Wenger-like than talking about how many attacking options you have before you go out and buy another striker when other areas of the pitch need strengthening?
Meanwhile Tomas Rosicky has discovered he likes the sound of the word options. He says of the upcoming season:
We have got plenty of options and that is why I feel we will be stronger than last season – because the boss will have more options. If the boss decides to buy someone, that is always good and will give us another option – but I think even if he doesn’t, we have plenty of options.
So I think it’s fair to say we have plenty of options. And we have the option to bring in more options. So if the boss opts for more options then our options will be optimal. Which is good. I think.
Patrick Vieira has been left out of the French squad for their WC qualifier next week with coach Raymond Dominatrix telling him he needs to play more. Will that spark a decision about his future soon? That’s a good question but frankly I don’t have the first clue.
Today is Member’s Day when the club has an open training session at the Grove. This year it’s being streamed live by the official site so that might be more interesting than work. Coverage starts around 11.30.
Finally for today, I was just having a poke around the Spanish sites to see if they were making up anything interesting these days and thought this image was quite interesting.
Right so, that’ll do, more tomorrow.
