Saturday, May 4, 2024

Sylvester waffles – Arshavin baffled – and could Barca's 433 be an option?

Good morning to you, thankfully the season is over and we can just go about our summertime business like deciding which colour flip-flops to wear and …. oh, bollocks.

Ahead of the United game on Saturday Sylvester has been talking. Now, I have to say I have about as much interest in what Sylvester thinks about Arsenal as I do in Phil Collins talking about how many takes it took to do the ‘du-dum, du-dum, du-dum du-dum dum dum’ bit in In the Air Tonight.

If there’s one thing Sylvester brings you it’s the chance of conceding more goals than an amputees Sunday league team made up of lads with table legs and cinder blocks for feet. He’s looking for this game on Saturday to be the kick-start for next season, saying:

It is a good chance to prove to ourselves that we have got what it takes to fight and be on top of the league for next season. Players have to fight for their spots and show the boss they deserve to be there and have the will to defend Arsenal’s colours

Now, Arsene has made some dodgy signings down the years. Stefan Malz, Kaba Diawara, Francis Jeffers, and many more, but if he signed a a half ton of knacker’s turd, moulded it into the shape of Carlton Palmer and played it at centre-half it wouldn’t be as bad as Sylvester.

The idea that he’s going to play for us next season makes me want to weep tears of my own spinal fluid. Then inject them straight back into my spine with a rusty, eight inch syringe. Plus the fact he actually used the word ‘defend’ when he’s clearly never heard it before or has any concept what it actually means is downright insulting. Be off with you, foul beast.

Meanwhile Andrei Arshavin is baffled at having to play wide left. He says:

I still can’t get used to the idea that I am capable of playing there and, frankly, having to do it keeps me baffled. I don’t know if I can play so well as a left winger or if it is just God taking care of me.

Someone needs to have a quiet word with Andrei and tell him that it’s all down to him as Dennis is currently living in Holland and His influence isn’t quite that great.

It does raise questions about where he’s going to play next season though. He wants to play in a more forward role, obviously, and I do wonder whether the manager will have that in his thinking when it comes to his summer purchases.

Would he be inclined to look at Barcelona’s 4-3-3 and have a go at that? Alex Song as the Toure-like holding player, Cesc and Nasri as the Xavi and Iniesta, then any 3 from Arshavin, Eduardo, Bendtner, van Persie, Walcott, Vela as the forward players? It would make sense with the players we have, plus it allows us to sell Adebayor and reinvest his money in some players who can defend.

Speaking of which The Mirror links us with Bolton’s Gary Cahill for whom Gary Megson will be looking for £20m apparently. Which is all well and good but the bottom line is nobody will pay £20m for him. Which is good for Bolton if they want to keep him but not so good if they want to get some money in the bank. Either way I’m sure he is just one of many defenders we’ll be linked with between now and the end of August.

Lee Dixon’s view on the state of play at Arsenal right now.

The reserves beat West Brom 2-0 last night to finish their season on a high. The goals came from Jay Emmanuel-Thomas and Mark Randall and the youngsters finish 6th in the reserve league south.

Not much else going on – just a quick word for people reading the blog in Ireland who may be getting served the ads with Libertas on them. Arseblog has always been non-political and will stay that way, I’d just like to make it clear that this is beyond my control and I distance myself completely from Ganley and his coven of shady, mendacious right-wing cunts. That the ads are on the blog is absolutely no endorsement of them. They’re even worse than the shit we have in government at the moment, and that’s saying something, let me tell you.

Politics off.

Right so, until tomorrow.

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