Ahh Sunday, the Sundayest day of the week. I’ve just had rather a nice lie-in so I’m all set up for the day of sitting around, reading the papers, eating food and drinking wine and beer. Yes, in the same glass. I call it Cabeernet.
So, William Gallas. There’s just no escaping this bloke, is there? If he’s not not heading the ball or failing to defend simple set pieces or throwing tantrums in the middle of the pitch he’s trying to make our team look like a pack of witless simpletons. Speaking about last season’s Birmingham meltdown he said:
Of course, some of my Arsenal team-mates could not have appreciated my behaviour against Birmingham. I had to state my authority again and today when I motivate them before a match, they say; ‘Capi, we need you, we are following you’.
Capi? CAPI? What is he, something out of Heidi or some outdated kids TV show?
‘Oh Capi, won’t you hear me? Capi, I say, Capi, is there anything I can do for you, Capi?’
Capi? Get. To. Fuck. And what does he mean about stating his authority? He has about as much authority as a terrified, newly qualified teacher in the remedial class. He then goes on to talk about the difference between Arsenal and Chelsea, where he spent so many years, let’s never forget, saying:
Before Arsenal, I spent six years at Chelsea. That team was capable of getting ugly wins. If we had an opportunity to win a cup, we would never miss it. There I became imbued with the winning culture, which doesn’t exist yet at Arsenal.
It fucking existed before you came along, you big cunt. And if you’re the captain and you’re going around making them call you Capi, isn’t it your fucking job to ensure that culture exists? Imagine if he’d thrown that kind of a tantrum while at Chelsea, he’d have had his head kicked in by some of his colleagues, cunts though they are. Sitting on the pitch and abandoning your teammates is not the action of a winner, that’s not how you ‘imbue’ a winning culture. It’s the action of a self-indulgent, primadonna who has all the intelligence of a shoe. A tramp’s shoe at that.
He reckons the criticism of him went too far. I don’t think it went far enough. I don’t think the club should have tolerated that kind of behaviour from the man charged with leading the team. He should have been stripped of the captaincy and quite possibly his skin. Then rolled around in salt. The cunt.
Honestly, he has all the leadership skills of a dead guide dog and we’re seeing what happens when you fail to have leadership on the pitch. You lose games you should win. If affects the rest of the team and it’s quite obvious we miss someone who will encourage people and get them going when a game is slipping away from us. The only thing I can remember Gallas doing is jumping up and down with anger when the Sunderland goal went in – obviously he was quite within his rights to do that because, for once, he wasn’t responsible for us conceding.
Take the fucking captaincy off him. From what certain players have said it’s obvious they don’t see him as a captain and anyone who uses the word ‘Capi’ is just not somebody you want to have anything to do with. Capi? Fuck right off with your Capi.
The Gallas experiment has failed, Arsene. Accept it, change it, move on. Otherwise we’re going to keep suffering.
The News of the World reports that Alisher Usmanov, the big, fat cunt, is considering selling his stake in Arsenal. Apparently the oligarchs have taken a massive hit in these trouble stock market days and he realises he’s never going to take over now. The article also says that Danny Fiszman and Lady Nina Bracewell have made it clear they want to sell their shares which is, of course, complete bollocks.
But how lovely would it be if Usmanov found himself strapped for cash and then Fat Tony sent his boys around to work him over to get it back and as he was being thrashed to within an inch of his life his fat, Man United supporting heart burst in his chest? Oh, it’s the simple corners of the imagination that bring us so much pleasure. I bet Usmanov never had anyone call him ‘Capi’ though.
Emmanuel Adebayor scored four goals for Togo against Swaziland yesterday. Although anyone could score four against Swaziland. Apart from all the other players on the Togo team. There don’t appear to have been any other Arsenal goalscorers yesterday.
Not much else happening so I’ll leave it there for today. Enjoy your Sunday, the sun is shining here in Dublin so I might even wander into town and have a stroll around.
Till tomorrow. And remember, Capi is for cappers.
