A quick Saturday round-up for you.
We’ll start with Obafemi Martins who says he’d ‘probably’ like to play for Arsenal. The Newcastle striker has been linked with a move to us should Adebayor leave and he says:
Is Arsenal a good club? Yes. Would I love to play there? Probably, if Newcastle are ready to listen to them. But if Newcastle says no then it’ll be no.
Probably? Probably? Pfff, get to fuck. Meanwhile, Irish centre-half Arseblogger, many years younger than Martins, says he’d ‘definitely’ like to play for Arsenal, saying:
Is Arsenal a good club? Yes. Would I love to play there? Definitely, if my astro team are ready to listen to them. But if they say no then it’ll be murder for them. Now that Arsenal are reversing their policy of signing kids and instead signing OAPs I see this as a great opportunity.
Martins? Do me a fucking favour. I bet we’ll sign the old cunt now. There’s nothing new about Adebayor, the Spanish press are having an ‘according to the British press’ day and just repeating all the crap that was in the papers yesterday.
Reports in Italy link Gilberto with a move to Roma. I hope we don’t let him go but at least we’d have that Bischoff fella waiting in the wings if he does leave. God, we can’t even sign a bloke who doesn’t get a game for Werder Bremen.
Other than that it’s deadly quiet this Saturday. Which can only mean one thing. And that thing is that there’s fuck all going on.
With that in mind I think I’ll have some coffee, some breakfast and see if I can’t make something happen myself. Maybe I should get my agent to link me with a move to Arsenal. Firstly, I need an agent. Does anyone wanna be my agent? Although would it be cool to be a footballer who hated agents and then you could meet with them and lure them into dark alleys and kill them and people would be all like ‘Man, who’s killing all these football agents?’.
Eventually you’d get caught because they’d find some agent DNA on the ball you were using in a cup final because some of an agent’s blood splattered on to your forehead when you killed him just before the match but then everyone would be all like ‘Ok, fair enough. It’s not like you were killing real people anyway. And is there any chance you could ask the Goo Goo Dolls to represent you? I hate those cunts’.
Hero, that’s what I’d be. Anyway, coffee.
