Good morning,
today’s blog comes to you with a slight midweek *boilk* as it was Blogette’s birthday last night. She’s 17 now. This is not good. It’s much easier to own a 10 year old or a 14 year old. 17 year olds think they have rights and want to be treated like an adult and stuff. I told her she still has one more year before all that crap comes into play.
Anyway, let’s move on from terrible things to happy things and finally, at last, we have sold Alexander Hleb. To Barcelona, no less. Will they never learn? He arrived there yesterday and performed the kind of badge kissing antics you’d expect from a pervert who gets their jollies from…erm…kissing badges. He claimed to ‘love’ Barcelona. Pffffff. Get to fuck, you non-scoring, Willem Dafoe looking cunthound. At least wait until you’ve scored a goal before you do that … oh … score a goal … hmmmm, might be a while. Fair enough then.
Arsene Wenger said of Hleb’s departure:
We must firstly thank Alex for his contribution towards Arsenal Football Club during his time with us. Alex played a significant role in the three seasons he was with the Club. We are comfortable with our decision to let him go and we are all looking forward to continuing our preparations for the new season ahead.
In other words, we’re not that bothered and if you can think of anything to thank the fucker for in the three years he’s been at Arsenal then by all means go for it but I’m fucking stumped. He played a significant role in us winning precisely fuck all.
Frankly, I’m amazed that he’s gone to Barcelona. I don’t know what kind of a player they think they’re getting but perhaps they were looking for someone who can dribble very well and then pass the responsibility for scoring to someone else. Or indeed the legendary pre-assist which seems to have been invented by Hlebomaniacs to justify his existence.
Far from being a backward step I honestly believe this is a good move for Arsenal. This is no blow to the team. The transfer fee is believed to be around £12m, so we’ve made profit on him after three years, which is no less than we deserved having been frustrated by him in that time period. I’ve always said that Hleb was an incredibly skillful player, his close control and touch was fantastic, his dribbling and ability to make space was almost old-fashioned (in a good way) but his record in three seasons was just not good enough. Ten goals? That is rubbish. And before anyone says his job isn’t to score goals I say ‘Shhhhhh’.
I’d say the jammy fucker can’t believe his luck and I have to say I’m a little irked that he gets to live in Barcelona and earn lots of money. Jealous? Yes. Of course. It’s raining here again today. It hardly ever rained in Barcelona and there was sun and cheap beer and mojitos. Gah. Anyway, let’s hope he follows in the footsteps of other Arsenal players who have made the move from London to Catalunya – may the Overmars and Petit be with you, Hleb. No goodbyes here. We’ve already moved on.
On the other hand Gilberto has arrived in Greece, according to reports, and was met at the airport by 1,500 Panathaikos fans. They carried him shoulder high before placing him in a carriage which was brought to the stadium by slaves and then he was fed grapes before putting on the Panathanaikos uniform which is some kind of leather thong and a trident. More on Gilberto when his departure is confirmed but we’re losing a really nice guy and proper professional. Good luck to him.
There was more bad news for Adebayor as AC Milan announced their transfer business for the summer was finished. With Barcelona the only club supposedly interested in him, and even then it seems to be fading, Wanky Lanky is going to find himself with nowhere to go now. What I’d like to know is where he is. Is he at pre-season training? If not, why not? And if he’s not then stick the fucker on the bench for the first few months of the season and don’t give him any kind of pay rise at all.
Andrei Arshavin shows exactly how much he wants to join Arsenal here (Spanish). The headline reads ‘Call me, Barcelona’. What a fucking tart.
The squad for Saturday’s pre-season friendly against Barnet has been announced and new boys Carlos Vela and Aaron Ramsey are both included. I think this is actually on the TV on Saturday, perhaps Setanta. Someone can confirm in today’s Arses, no doubt.
Right, well that’s about that. I suspect, and it’s only a gut feeling (and that could actually be last night’s Japanese food), that the Hleb move will spark a bit of transfer activity from us. Midfielder? Defender? Striker? Robot ninja? I just don’t know, but someone.
Till tomorrow, Arsebandits.
