Look, the thing is you need to be really, really quiet. Thanks. Apparently it’s Father’s Day today. That means you should shut up.
It’s a very quick Sunday round-up right now starting with AC Milan saying Adebayor is too expensive. Silvio Berlusconi says they cannot spend an ‘exorbitant’ amount due to the economic downturn. Whatever. He can just print his own money if he feels like it but perhaps the fact that they’re competing in the UEFA Cup next season is handicapping their ability to sign big players.
The People links us with Daniel Parejo. I try to care somehow. That’s a lie. I don’t. Try, that is.
Reports in Spain say Barcelona are ‘fed up’ negotiating with Arsenal over Alexander Hleb. That makes all of us. I’m fed up with people not buying Hleb. Despite their vice-President arriving in London things have not advanced at all. I say we sell Hleb to some kind of circus where he’s made perform tricks and stunts and forced to do things with horses that no man should do.
William Gallas missed France’s training session for an unspecified reason. I can exclusively reveal that he got caught up watching the box set of Twin Peaks and lusting after Audrey Horne. When people came to get him he insisted they provide him with some ‘damn fine’ coffee and a slice of delicious pie. Raymond Domenech is furious because the person who made the pie was a Sagittarius and once had nose sex with his wife. Seriously. No, really.
Bob Wilson talks about Aaron Ramsey.
That’s it. It’s Sunday, I have to play 5-a-side at some point today. Sweet Jesus. I have the pain. And the tired. And the hunger. And the getting a taxi home at a stupid time this morning. And the taxi driver laughing at me. And the ‘Oh shit, it’s bright. I hate the bright’.
I’m going to lie down.
