Tuesday, May 7, 2024

What is this ghastly thing? Oh, it's morning.

Oh mercy, mercy me. Having been lead astray by the nefarious Mugsmasher last night it’s a wonder there’s any blog at all this morning. Not only that, I was out with an Aston Villa fan too. It’s true. There really are some in real life in Ireland these days.

Having begun the night drinking pints of Guinness it slowly, and by slowly I mean rapidly, descended into a maelstrom of Czech lager and Cuban rum. Damn those Czechs and those Cubans for making such delicious, delicious drinks. I have to say I probably had a couple more than I should have but who are you to judge me? I know you come to this blog and expect me to perform and behave to the sober and abstemious standards I have set down the years but sometimes a man just needs to drink until he can’t see. How else are we to have any empathy with the blind? Suffice to say I shall be necking some painkillers very shortly. Can you die from an Ibuprofen overdose?

We have this game against Villa today and good holy sweet jumping Jesus my head hurts. There’s a jackhammer in my brain. Cesc, as expected, misses the game due to his hamstring strain but Gael Clichy (perverted spine) and Alex Hleb (rampant groin) face late fitness tests. Villa will be full of the joys after their 4-0 over Blackburn so I suppose we should just hope they used up their entire goal quota for the month in one game.

I’d like to see us play 4-4-2 with Eduardo and Adebayor up front but I suspect we’ll continue with this 4-5-1 thing. I don’t like 4-5-1. Did I ever mention that? What do you mean you don’t remember? Why is it that when you walk down the street at 2.30am and you say “Hello” and “Heeeeeeeyyyy” to random people on their way home they rarely respond and simply look at you like you’re an imbecile? All you’re doing is being nice and polite and spreading the good cheer but some people just do not want to be cheered. They’re happy in their world of misery and fail to appreciate those who try and bring more glee to the world. I was full of glee last night and I tried to spread the glee amongst my fellow man but some people are just not into glee. The gleeless cunts.

Arsene Wenger says he might need to buy a defender in January, what with Kolo going off to the ACN and all that. I would suggest a temporary signing as we have Djourou coming back and that Norwegian kid waiting in the wings. Despite my lack of pace I think I could do the job very well and for a fraction of the price that a so-called ‘real’ player would do it for. The boss is also not worried about the defeat in Sevilla causing a rake of defeats like after we lost at Old Trafford that time. According to him that was the end of an era whereas this is the start of an era.

Eras are strange, aren’t they? I mean, if it wasn’t for eras there’d be no other things that are associated with eras and who could live without them, whatever they are?

Adebayor says he’s got ambition. I like Adebayor, I have to say. He’s the funniest African I never met. I suspect if you gave him a load of rum he’d do more than simply say hello to people on the street, the mad cunt. I hope he scores four goals today. All diving headers. In fact, all goals where he goes round the keeper, stops the ball on the line and then kneels down and heads it over. That’d be cool.

Right, I think I had better go eat some food and then do other stuff. Having to do stuff is crap but I suspect having to do a crap will be really crap today. Have a good Saturday and come on you reeeeeeeds.

Until tomorrow, I suppose.

*boilk*

Related articles

Share article

Featured on NewsNow

Support Arseblog

Latest posts

Latest Arsecast