Good morning to you all. Well, it would be a good morning if my head didn’t feel like a million midgets were having a midget party and doing midget poos in it. You see, I blame my good lady wife and that bastard Mugsmasher.
Firstly Mrs Blogs lured me into the realms of Beer O’Clock by being entertaining company before she decided enough was enough and headed home. But by that stage the Mugsmasher had arrived so anything he said seemed like a good idea and what he said was ‘Let’s drink more beer and then some rum’. Evil cunt. On the upside I came home with a nice tumbler and a candle holder that I borrowed from some bar or other so it’s not all bad.
We have football today which is good and the team news is that Gallas is fit, van Persie is injured while Theo Walcott and Eboue are rested. I can understand why Eboue is rested, what with him playing and praying, but Theo has hardly kicked a ball in the last couple of weeks. He needs rest like I need a gin and tonic. Mmmmm, gin and tonic for breakfast. But don’t tell my wife. Anyway, going into some deep analysis of the game this evening I hope we kick the scabby cunts off them. Yes.
Arsene has been talking about stuff, as he is wont to do. Responding to stories about Lassana Diarra and Abou Diaby (two very good friends who are probably sitting around bitching to each other as they share a packet of peanut M&Ms) being unhappy at Arsenal he called them complete pussies. Well, sort of. He said this:
I try to make everybody happy, but it is impossible. Why should I come up and give explanations for every individual who is not happy? It is a joke. When you are a professional footballer, competition is part of your job. We are not in a kindergarten here – we are in a job for men. If they join a club lower in the league then they start saying: ‘I should be playing at a top club’. You expect competition at a big club.
Quite right that man and what a gauntlet he has laid down to Diarra and Co. Basically he reckons they’re a pack of whining, moaning bitches who need to shut the fuck up and concentrate on their jobs and I agree with him 100%. If Diarra went to Villa, for example (no offence to Villa fans), he’d play every week but eventually he’d complain about not being at a ‘big’ club. Apparently now they’re trying to make it illegal for parents to smack their children but this is the equivalent in football terms of a good paddling. Diarra has just been given a spanking and now we’ll see what kind of character he is. Will he be the kind to sulk and call Childline or will he accept the tough love and show us what he’s made of? When you read the rest of the article you know Arsene is right, no other club gives young players such a chance. Some of them take their chances and are grateful for it, some of them show some flashes of good play then complain like cunts when they don’t get picked because they are as consistent as an Irish summer. Shut the fuck up and play football. Or fuck off somewhere else and stop crying like a fucking little baby, stupid little baby.
The boss also called for a clampdown on tackles from behind. Refs have been getting tough on two-footed challenges, and rightly so, but I suspect he’s angry at the kind of tackle Carew made on Hleb which was purely designed to take down the player. He had no chance of getting the ball and ended up injuring the Belalalalarussain. I have no problem with any tackle that is a genuine attempt to get the ball, whether it’s from the side, behind, front or in some dimension we don’t yet know about, but it’s obvious when the intent is to play the man and not the ball and that is something the refs should be able to punish.
He is also looking forward to David Beckham coming to train with the lads, saying the youngsters can learn a lot from him. For me Beckham has always been a bit of a ponce but a good professional. Sure, he’s playing for a pub team now but there’s no doubt training with him will be good for some of the players. At the very least they can get tip-top advice on which sarong to wear out on a Saturday night.
After revealing that he won’t be dipping into the transfer market in the January window he spoke about Robin van Persie being like a new signing. You know, if that boy could stay fit for a whole season he’d score so many goals but sadly he is like the bloke from that film with Bruce Willis who discovers he is indestructible and his arch-enemy is the exact opposite and breaks like a twiggy twig underfoot. Robin is the twiggy twig.
Jens Lehmann is a man who has to make a decision and Arsene won’t stand in his way if he decides to leave. Speaking about his former keeper Arsene said:
I will be sorry to see him go but I don’t want to take him out of the team and stop him from playing in the European Championship. Once he has made up his mind that he wants to go, we’ll see.
I like the way in the article he says if two goalkeepers got injured the situation would change, heh. He is really the master of the between-the-lines insult. Anyway, it looks like Jens is on his way and that’s probably best for all concerned. As I said earlier in the week it’s a shame the way it ended because I’ve always liked Lehmann but the people who accuse Arsene of not being ruthless with his players need to think again. Auf Wiedersehen, Jens, you mental cunt.
Right, apart from Arsene talking about stuff what else is there? Well, Tribal Football (who generally just steal their stories from other websites and publications) are reporting that QPR will spend £1m on Matthew Connolly. He’s currently on loan with Colchester United, I think, and a move to somewhere which offers him first team football would be hard to refuse. For added credibility it’s also being reported in The Sun.
Abou Diaby reckons we can win the league and the Champions league this season. That would be cool, I have to say. You know I’m an abstemious kind of person but if that were to happen I might just let my guard down and have a small sherry, or something.
Congratulations to Bob Wilson who will be awarded an OBE in the new year’s honours list. As well as a fine footballing and broadcasting career Bob has done tremendous work with the Willow Foundation, the charity he founded. Well done, Primrose, it’s well deserved.
Right, I think I need some toast and some more coffee. Here’s to a good win later on, come on you rip-roaring reds.
More tomorrow.
