What kind of a boilk is this? It’s far beyond a normal boilk. Is it a double boilk? Perish the thought. That would be underestimating the boilkisness of this boilk by a long shot. Triple boilk? That might slightly come close to it but the best I can suggest is that this boilk is the boilkiest boilk of the year and when I came home last night I must have had a cup of boilk and a boilk sandwich.
Naturally it was not my fault at all. I had to meet two old friends for Christmas drinks and they led me astray. Then I made the fatal mistake of meeting the Mugsmasher and he led me even further astray. Luckily though I saw sense and escaped at a reasonable hour. I think. I have this vague recollection of the taxi driver looking quite like Butthead from Beavis and Butthead, such were his teeth and gums. It was all a bit disturbing actually.
So, what’s going on? Well, we’ve got the small matter of the game against Sp*rs now in a little while. You all know the crack, they are horrendous cunts and I want us to beat them to a mushy paste then spread the paste on Tuc crackers then feed the homeless with them. They’ll play 11 cunts, we’ll play 11 not cunts. There’s not much more to it than that, is there?
Arsene Wenger says John Terry is a cunt. I agree. Of all the cunts in all the world John Terry is right up there as one of the biggest. And brokenest. Hahaha. The fucking brittle cunt. The greatest gift he’ll get this year is crutches. The boss is right when he says longer bans should be made for violent tackles. It’s something I’ve said here for a long time. It’s ridiculous that a bloke who pushes another player in the face gets a three match ban while a player who goes in with two feet gets the same. Violent conduct is not a catch-all. It needs to be measured and the worse it is the longer the ban should be.
Arsene talks about the Champions League draw. To be honest, despite the European pedigree, I’d much rather play AC Milan than Inter. Yes, they have Kaka who is a wonderful player but I think our young team can bring about the end of the Maldini era and Milan’s old men are there for the taking. It’s gonna be fun whatever happens and the first leg is Feb 20th. Does that mean the Scousers are going to be in Milan the day before?
I wish I had it in me to write more this morning but due to the intense boilk this has been a challenge. I’ve been up since 8.45am and it’s taken me this long to get this much out (this may not be true). Here’s to three points today, I’m off to fry some breakfast and then clamber onto the couch.
More tomorrow.
