Captain Fantastic Marvel Mouthpiece

Good morning, William Gallas has been made captain of Arsenal.

I think it’s fucking horrible and I don’t think I’ve ever disagreed more with a decision Arsene has made. I think out of the current squad Gilberto should be captain based on the way he led the team last season in Thierry’s absence. I could, I suppose, have tolerated Gallas as a stand-in captain in his absence but even then I’d prefer to have seen Kolo as captain. And then Jens as captain. And then Vic Akers as captain. And then some tramp stinking of piss wearing a ‘Frankie says Relax’ t-shirt. And then a giant mutant fetus which recited the poems of Pam Ayres at you. And then …, well, then Gallas. Maybe. Only if the three legged goatboy with bad breath and an overly playful nature wasn’t in the picture.

I could go on a long rant about the whys and the wherefores but it’s a waste of time. The deed is done. Agree with it or disagree with it – it makes no difference. It’s not about to change and so we have to just live with the fact that the moany old cunt is our captain. I was wondering why he had changed his fucking tune so quickly.

‘Oh, I’ve been warming to Gallas a bit recently. See the way he’s got an article every day in the paper saying how awesome everything is? Which is really quite the opposite of what he was saying when Thierry Henry left, and all last season, but never mind, he’s saying the right things!’

Now we know why. He’s nothing if not a cunning bastard, is he? Anyway, however you want to try and justify it to me I just don’t see William Gallas alongside people like Pat Rice, Frank McLintock, Tony Adams or even Vieira and Henry, for all their faults, who were captains because they had served Arsenal so brilliantly there was no other choice. This, in my opinion, has cheapened the Arsenal captaincy in a way I never thought possible. I’m sure Arsene has his reasons. I’m sure when we hear them they’ll sound perfectly reasonable and sensible. Arsene has a gift that way.

‘Everything is fine’, he’d say in a dramatic situation.

‘Apart from that meteorite that’s just about to kill us all.’

‘Don’t worry about that. It’s fine.’

‘Ok.’

*KABOOOoooooommmm*

But whatever Arsene says about it and however he talks about this one will just leave a bad taste in the mouth for me (thanks to Ricey for the pic, click for slightly bigger). What’s really odd is that on the member’s training day the other day people reported that Kolo Toure had been announced as the new captain and had pictures taken with the armband on and everything. Most strange.

And you everything in the world has gone upside down crazy when James Lawton, James Lawton I ask you, writes something like this. Is the The Truman Show? ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME?

Emmanuel Petit is worried that Arsenal have become a selling club and that the balance between youth and experience is all wrong. He says:

I just want the board to realise that if you want to win titles you need the dynamism of the young players, but the experience and maturity of the older players as well.

It’s not the board he needs to tell but his old pal AW. If you’re wondering why Petit has become so interested all of a sudden it’s because he’s one of the analysts for Setanta Sports coverage of the Premiership. Let’s hope he doesn’t carry on too negatively.

Published yesterday in the ‘columns’ section and lost amidst the debate about Gallas being captain, here’s Arseblog’s 07-08 season preview.

Now then, time for this:

In this week’s Arsecast there’s a big contribution from you lot as you tell the world your predictions and hopes for the season ahead in a series of voice mails, the Man in the Bar is there along with some other bits and pieces and there’s info on how to join the Arseblog.com league in OleOle.com’s fantasy football game.

To subscribe to the arsecast in iTunes – click here. To download this week’s arsecast directly – click here (16mb MP3). You can find the arsecast archives here. And you can listen directly below without leaving this very page.

Now, I must away to work. Until later, Arsemigos.