march 3rd
I have just woken from a wonderful dream in which Arsenal won the Champions League final 4-2 against Real Madrid. The match was being played in Finsbury Park, there were no linesmen and Arsene Wenger shared managerial duties with that big tall woman with the man’s voice from the Golden Girls. Our right winger, who also happened to be an ostrich, scored a hat-trick and Dennis Bergkamp scored the other. There were amazing celebrations as just after the final whistle the team paraded the trophy and we weren’t in Finsbury Park any more but Cape Town, South Africa. Pascal Cygan then said he wanted to go on safari because it was his life long ambition to shoot a monkey in the arse and everyone thought that was a splendid idea. Then I woke up because I needed to wee.
Thankfully I had that interesting dream because there isn’t much else to talk about this morning. The Times reports that Ashely Cole could miss this weekend’s game with a hamstring injury. I’d imagine if there’s any doubts at all he’ll sit this one out with Bayern Munich to come next week. It will mean yet more reshuffling for the boss if he is out.
A 14 year-old girl was arrested for throwing a bottle at Arsene Wenger as he got off the team bus before the Sheffield United game. Thankfully she missed and now has the prospect of a career as a Sp*rs striker ahead of her. Southampton’s David Prutton has been banned for 10 games and fined £6,000 for his ref pushing histrionics last weekend. The ban seems fair enough, and I’m not trying to make the boy pay more money, but the fine seems a little small when you consider the fines doled out to our players for pushing and shoving opponents at Old Trafford last season. Finally Spanish coach, Luis Aragones, has hit out at the Spanish FA for his fine saying he did nothing wrong. He says, in the voice of Peter Sellers playing an Indian, “These spics don’t know what they’re doing. They’re bending over backwards for the darkies and Brits.”
And that’s about it. I can’t believe it’s Thursday already.
