Sunday, April 28, 2024

Arseblog: Wednesday 9th February 2005

february 9th

Phone calls 4 – 0 ADSL. Although they have promised to reconnect me within 4 days. So that means any time between now and March. 2007. To those of you who have sent mails and so on I’ll try and reply once I get reconnected. Dial-up is just such a pain.

The latest in the Ashley Cole scandal is a report that he couldn’t possibly have been in the meeting because he was somewhere else and we know he was somewhere else because he apparently dropped something on the ground and then had his picture taken with somebody and Big Ben was in the background and 73 witnesses saw him picking up the thing he dropped and having his picture taken. So it’s all cleared up then.

To make Ashley even more popular he’s got the full support of Sven Goran Erikkson, England’s most sexful manager of all time. Sven says “Loyalty is important but contracts end and that is life in football.” Except Ashley’s contract doesn’t end for two more years, Sven, you shitbag. And let us not forget this is the same bloke who broke his contract with Lazio to become England manager and who was quite prepared to ditch England for Chelsea – as his meetings with Peter Kenyon showed – so for him to lecture anybody on loyalty is like David Beckham giving a seminar on fidelity.

And speaking of Peter Kenyon he was supposed to attend a UEFA seminar this week but mysteriously pulled out at the last minute (unlike Sven who blah blah blah, you know yourself). No doubt the idea of facing David Dein was too much and not even a slimeball like Kenyon could have kept a straight face during the lecture on the role of agents in football. At the UEFA meeting Double-D has called on FIFA and UEFA to bring in worldwide guidelines with regard the role and acceptable behaviour of agents. I would imagine one of the things they’d like to outlaw would be a club tapping up a player from a title rival, offering him a huge increase in salary and then offering to back-date that salary so that player is effectively being paid by two clubs at the same time creating a massive conflict of interest especially as those two clubs still have to meet in the run-in. Luckily for us there just isn’t a club or pig-ugly bald chief executive named Peter scummy enough to do that. Oh.

In other news Jens Lehmann reveals he was close to leaving Arsenal after losing his place to Manuel Almunia, Emmanuel Petit says we need Shaun Wright-Phillips and today being the first day of lent I’m giving up not stalking and killing Chelsea players for the next 40 days and 40 nights. What are you giving up? Fingers crossed our players come back from international duty in one piece.

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