june 5th
09.06 – And yet another era draws to a close today as Doris Cocknocker, the Arsenal tea lady, leaves to take on the role of catering manager at Man City after 51 years at the club. She’s seen the good times, and the bad. The wonderful football of the Wenger era, the turgid tripe of Terry Neill’s rein, the first double. The whole lot.
Arsenal stars past and present paid tribute to Doris’s sterling service over the years. Current skipper Patrick Vieira said “Doris is the best we’ve ever had. Doris wanted a new challenge so I can understand why she has gone but she’ll never be forgotten here at Arsenal. She has done so much for the Club and her record speaks for itself.”
Manager Arsene Wenger says “Doris is an Arsenal legend and deserves only the highest recognition for everything she has achieved for both club and country over the past 51 years. She is an outstanding professional and to lose someone of her calibre is a great loss to the Club. I, like many of our supporters, did not want Doris to leave but of course, I respect her desire to continue making tea and snacks and wish her every success in the future.”
Former Gunner John Devine took time out from his busy concert schedule to tell us his memories of Doris. “Doris was bleedin’ deadly man. As a young fella from Dublin I used to get homesick, but Doris was always there with a cup of scald and a decent biscuit. I’d talk to players at other clubs and all they got was a digestive and maybe a custard creme if they were lucky, but Doris had them all. Bourboun cremes, fig rolls, Garbaldis, Nice, rich tea, lemon puffs, coconut cremes and if you were really lucky you got a Penguin or a Wagon wheel. She’ll be missed.”
So long Doris. *sniff sniff*
Arsenal are linked yet again with Sp*rs full back Stephen Carr, with The Telegraph speculating a deal is almost done. If we do sign Carr I think it’s a signal that Lauren could be on his way. Harry Kewell might stay at Leeds, but Man United still want him and now that they’re selling Beckham to Barcelona/Real Madrid, they’ll have enough money to buy every player in the world. Kewell, Ronaldinho, Crespo, Nesta, Toldo and Figo will all be signed by United this week.
However, The Times says Kewell has told friends he wants to move to Arsenal and is threatening to stay for another season at Leeds and then leave for nothing next summer. Leeds, not having two shillings to call their own, will sell. Arsenal have reportedly offered Leeds their pick of Parlour, Jeffers and van Bronckhorst as part of the deal.
Udinese keeper Morgan di Sanctis says “My agent told me he is aware of Arsenal’s interest, though they have made no official enquiry yet.” He was tipped to win his first Italian cap against Northern Ireland earlier in the week, but didn’t get in the squad ahead of Buffon and Abiatti. Two other goalkeeping targets, Rustu and Peter Cech are being linked with Barcelona. Rumours in the Spanish press suggest that Arsenal could sign Santiago Cañizares from Valencia – a deal which hinges on whether or not Valencia pip Celta Vigo to the last Champions League place. The Spanish season still has about two weeks to go, so we shall see.
Hmmm, one of my cats has just appeared back in the house with what looks like some kind of scorpion. Excuse me while I bash it to death. The scorpion of course.
