Friday, April 26, 2024

Arseblog: Tuesday 4th March 2003

march 4th

08.55 – I think I’d like to become an 80s pop preacher. I could travel from town to town, spreading the word of the Lord via the medium of naff 80s chart tunes. I could set up a tent, put flyers around each town, have a large congregation for each service. The lights would be dimmed, I would step up the pulpit, the people would bow their heads in silence. I’d look around, check that my bleached blond Flock of Seagulls/Spagna hair was sticking up correctly, and then I would speak:

“Near a tree by a river, there’s a hole in the ground, where an old man of Aran, goes around and around. Amen brothers and sisters. I have a picture, pinned to my wall. It’s an image of me and of you and we’re laughing and loving it all. Praaaaaaaise be to Jesus. What’s the colour of money? What’s the colour of money? Don’t tell me that you think it’s green, me, I know it’s red. Hallelujah! And so on. With church attendances falling each year, this would be the perfect way to prick the religious conscience of the children of the 80s. Oh yes. Pass the collection plate….

Anyway, speaking of God, it looks as if he’s about to sign for another year with Arsenal. Hurrah. Dennis told The Daily Star “I’ve always lived to play football and it helps if you take care of your body throughout your whole career.” Good stuff – when you look at how 48 year old Gianfranco Zola has performed for Chelsea this season, Dennis certainly has at least another good season left in him.

Freddie is fit and well again, and not feeling any ill effect from his achilles injury. It’s funny to hear it, but he said it would have been easier if he’d broken his leg, because the injury he had was difficult to find and treat correctly. He’s dreaming of league and cup glory again this season, and says the players have their sights set on the Champions League. Arsenal have been linked with Georgian keeper Giorgi Lomaia, who can’t join Arsenal coz he’ll never geta work permit (unless he becomes Greek all of a sudden like that Tomas fella).

And what a game last night between Birmingham and Villa. Robbie Savage, world fucking high jump champion in the making there. What a pisspot he is. Dion Dublin walking off the pitch saying to the camera “He’s a cheat.” It’s about time somebody said it, rather than having these commentators who faff around saying “He’s wholehearted and maybe comes close to crossing the line every now and again.” Bollocks to that, he’s a dirty diving fucker, who won’t think twice about a nasty tackle on an opposition player, but the moment anyone touches him he falls over like a one legged man whose crutches have been kicked out from underneath him. It’s a shame Dion didn’t loaf his minging head off.

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