january 19th
17.31 – Arsenal 3-1 West Ham (Henry 3)
This game had West Ham fan Tony Gale in fits on Capital Radio. And it was funny. Arsenal took the lead in the 13th minute when Thierry Henry tucked away a penalty. Ginger twat Steve Lomas then got sent off, and although West Ham complained, having him off the pitch could only improve their team if you ask me. Poor old Tony was apopleptic about the red card. “Eeees kiwwwwllled the gayem”, he screeched about the referee.
He obviously underestimated Arsenal’s ability to make life as difficult as possible for themselves, and Edu’s attempted backpass turned into a lovely through ball for Jermaine Defoe and he made it 1-1 at half time. “West ‘am ‘ava chance” said Tony.
In the second half David James seemed to make save after save after save to deny Arsenal the goal that would put them back in front. Unusually, he didn’t make one of his trademark colossal cock-ups, which would have come in fairly handy. He does ’em against everyone else. Typical.
Then Arsenal got a corner. The ball came out to Dennis Bergkamp, who crossed for Thierry to score his first ever headed goal in the Premiership. Looking at the replay though, Tony spotted something. “Dennis Bergkamp’s gorn an’ given Lee Bowyah a stiff arm in the fayce theyar. ‘Eee should be ap in frant of the FA’s video panewl for that”
No matter, the goal was good. Then Lauren got booked late on. He’d committed a number of yellow card worthy fouls before that according to Tony. “Faw toimes, that’s faw toimes. ‘ee shud be sent ‘orf”. Arsenal then broke clear in the last 5 minutes, Pires put the ball across and Henry made sure of his hat-trick.
West Ham are paying the price for having a shite defence and a shite manager. I hereby propose that Dead Kenny be appointed manager until the end of the season. He couldn’t do any worse than old rat boy and if nothng else, he’d entertain the team with lesbian arthouse movies on the bus home from each defeat.
Arsenal stay 5 points clear, and if Kermit could post this kind of thing before every match, we could have the league sewn up by the end of March.
