november 23rd
16.00 – 18.00 – Southampton 3-2 Arsenal – as it happened….sort of.
Kick off. Zzzzzzzz. Seaman save. Some stuff not worth mentioning. Southampton corner sounds dangerous. Light cigarette. Put out cigarette. Light a reverse cigarette. Paddy elbowed in ribs by south coast ruffian. More boring crap. Commentators voice gets all excited. Bergkamp volleys Arsenal 1 up. Spin around on chair. Look at some optical illusion website while listening. Begin seeing things I shouldn’t. Cygan gives away free kick. 30 yards out. Beattie takes and of course, scores. Flaps. Halftime 1-1.
Coffee and M&Ms.
Vieira shoots, keeper saves, Vieira shoots again, keeper saves again, Vieira shoots yet again, keeper saves yet again. Bob warming up. Delgado breaks into the box, Sol touches him. Penalty Southampton. Red card Mr. Campbell. Beattie takes and of course, scores. Immediately remember what a bitch Paul Durkin is. Ashley Cole yellow carded. Oleg moves into centre back position, Toure comes on for Edu and goes to right back. We came back against Chelsea with 10 men, surely we can do it against this lot. Am confident. Need Pires though. Henry trickles shot at keeper. Seaman fails to come for free kick, Delgado rises above Ashley Cole and of course, scores. 3-1 Southampton. Am considerably less confident. 22 mins to go. Jeffers and Pires on. Freddie and Dennis off. Delap really close for Southampton. 12 to go. Corner to Arsenal, Pires scores. GOoooooaaaaaal. 3-2. Am confidenter although more crapper at English. Marsden flattens Vieira, Durkin keeps second yellow in his pocket, the poxy ginger spunkstain. 6 mins to go. Smoking like Kylie’s arse. Henry intercepts back-pass, shoots…wide. Argh. Henry hurt, Arsenal have 9 men on the pitch. Tel back on. 3 mins stoppage time. Fulham 3-2 Liverpool. Which is nice, but a goal would be nicer. Vieira booked. Full time.Bollocks. Blame pair of ex-lucky socks. Vow to wreak terrible and deadly revenge against Paul Durkin. Think better of actually writing that down. Change mind. Of course I’m only joking. Uncross fingers. Still top though.
Barca v Real tonight, goodie. That Thierry pic was very popular yesterday, over 1600 downloads. If my hosting wasn’t so fantastically affordable, I’d be in trouble…
