Good morning from a vaguely overcast, but more specifically hungover Edinburgh. I imagine this weather would make for ideal marathon running, or it would at least be much more appropriate than the glaring heat of summer we experienced last weekend, but that would’ve been much less fun for us spectators, and we all know marathon running is really about the spectators. Oh, how I miss the summer.

Still, that’s it gone for another year, I imagine; nothing but rain between now and September, when the sun will again emerge for a few days, before going into hibernation until it’s properly cold. Then, it’ll decide to reappear to produce those wonderful, crisp winter days with not a cloud in the sky that really make you angry that it doesn’t do that when it’s actually warm enough to appreciate it.

Mrs Tom woke me from my slumbers at half past six this morning to tell me that she was going to get up and go in the other room so as not to disturb me, which was very informative, but somewhat contrary to the whole notion of not disturbing me. So for those of you betting that I’d not get my lazy carcass out of bed to post today’s blog until sometime nearer lunchtime, you should take up your losses with Mrs Tom. Vigourously.

I’m informed that sadly yesterday’s deal that saw Arseblogger swap Dublin for Barcelona hasn’t worked out terribly well on the Irish side. Dubliners were under the impression that they’d get something in return for loaning out their star player – perhaps just a little of that warm, Catalan sunshine – but I understand it’s raining there, which given my own experiences of that city, I’m not entirely surprised to hear, I have to say. Still, I’m sure you’ll agree that whatever Dublin failed to realise from the deal, a first holiday in five years is very much deserved, and you’ll join me in wishing Mr and Mrs Blogger a lovely, warm, and relaxing break.

With some difficulty, I was trying to remember the last time I wrote Arseblog. I think it was the day the club officially confirmed the signing of Marouane Chamakh (hence the ill-fitting banner for this post), which with some foresight I was distinctly underwhelmed – and castigated for in the arses. I suspect it was the interminably long time it took to sign a player I wasn’t hugely excited about anyway (I knew next to nothing about him, in fairness), or his strange, strange hair, but while I do remember being told off for not being happier about a signing, it turns out my underwhelmedness wasn’t entirely misplaced. The Moroccan’s had a rotten time of it at Arsenal, and while he hasn’t gone yet, it’s difficult to see how he’ll ever turn it round – underwhelmedness is a feeling now long established with the poor chap.

I do remember the sun was shining that day though.

Onto current, up to date Arsenal news now, and as you’ve probably guessed from the above waffle, there’s not a lot to go round. It seems to be my lot; I either get to write blogs in circumstances where Arseblogger’s at a game, which we’ve inevitably lost (because he’s there, and not because I’m writing the blog, obviously), or I write them in the summer transfer window. Bloggers writing about other clubs might have some transfer intrigue to write about, but as we know, that’s not really the Arsenal way (*weep*).

The Guardian report that Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (am I the only one that hates “The Ox”?) will start for England against Belgium this afternoon, if that’s your thing. With Frank Lampard out of the tournament, Roy Hodgson is looking to explore his midfield opt…is anyone else bored of this already? I know lots of people love a good international tournament, but this one’s left me really quite cold. Hopefully it’ll get my attention a bit more when it actually starts. Anyway, good luck to Alex – I hope it goes well in his first start for England, and I hope he doesn’t come across a particularly menacing Thomas Vermaelen.

There’s the usual raft of stories about Robin van Persie’s future, Roberto Mancini appearing to have chosen to open his trap to talk about our player, but it’s all nonsense; nothing has actually changed, as far as I’m aware. I really do find this story, and all the associated guff, really very boring. Quite clearly he’s either going to stay, or he’s not, but Arsenal will continue to exist, “whatever happens”. I hope he does stay, obviously, but it really won’t be the apocalypse some are predicting if he doesn’t.

Anyway, I didn’t really want to talk about how I don’t want to talk about that particular saga, but there really is very little else going on.

Today I have a wedding. Not my own, which happened some years ago, but that of a colleague. I’m photographing the wedding, which means for most of the day I can’t have a drink; while everyone else sips champagne and gets steadily more drunk, I’ll be concentrating on trying to get some good photos. At least I’m getting paid for it. Maybe.

Have yourselves a good Saturday. Till tomorrow.

It’s true. It’s massive news.

I’m going on loan to Barcelona for the next 10 days. I’ve done a deal with the city whereby I’ll drink their beer, eat their food, swim in their sea and walk around the place in flip-flops until it’s time to return home. This is me and Mrs Blogs’ first holiday for five years so we’re kinda looking forward to it.

And it probably couldn’t come at a better time as there is litle or nothing going on in terms of Arsenal news. Speculation over Robin and his contract is tiresome and tedious. Will he? Won’t he? Well, I can exclusively reveal the whole thing is 50-50. He either will or he won’t. And whatever happens life will go on. Sure, it’s easy for me to be sanguine when I’m heading away to spend 10 days in the heat, eating tortilla sandwiches for breakfast, but there’s not much more to it than that.

Knickers are being twisted over Chelsea and their signings. As I said the other day regarding that Belgian tart who announced he’s signing for them, I couldn’t give a fish’s tit about what any other club does. And if they want to sign Hulk then go for it, I say, and I don’t care. For various reasons.

1 – He’s not the real Hulk and his real name is probably Cuthbert Hilario da Poncé da Silva

2 – He’s not even Green

3 – He hasn’t been over-exposed to gamma radiation

4 – Nothing happens when he gets angry

5 – When he misses a chance and walks away they won’t play the saddest music in the world

6 – He can’t be anywhere near as good as Drogba was so in essence they’re weaker regardless of who they sign

7 – I have it on good authority we’re signing the Silver Surfer and he was fuckin’ cool

Once we don’t play any games beyond the invisible barrier that keeps the surfer in our world then we’ll be A-OK and his sleek hairlessness will simply add to his pace. He’s all aerodynamic and shit. Shawcross couldn’t get near him even if he tried.

There will be some Arsenal interest when the European championships start, of course, with various players involved for their countries. We’ll be able to tell much from their performances. Robin van Persie’s body language will tell us he’s off to Man City, Nicklas Bendtner will be photographed coming out of Polish nightclub with his pants on his head after his drinks were spiked with alcohol (“I just ordered a pint of Jaegermeister, I have no idea what happened”), Tomas Rosicky will score four screamers for the Czech Republic while Theo Walcott will use every interview to promote his new book ‘Little Timmy gets a new job’ – a dark take on the classic footballer having to renew his contract story told through the eyes of a little boy called Timmy who has Action Man hair and who can run really, really fast. It will sell three copies.

And that’s not even mentioning The Ox who will single-handedly win the entire tournament for England and bring about the knighting of Sir Roy Hodgson. I remember being on holidays in Barcelona during the Euros in 2000. I got really badly sunburned and spent a night hallucinating. It’s not pleasant to do that, I have to tell you. Nor is being freezing cold in 28C heat, but it is good to go to bars and drink beer and watch the football. Mrs Blogs loves that. Honestly.

Today, there’s very little happening. Sao Paulo want to hold onto Denilson for another couple of weeks because of some play-off thing they’re involved in. I say keep him as long as you want, fellas. In fact, hang on to him forever. Go on, our treat. And we’ll throw this Chamakh in too in case you need some spare parts. Not convinced? How about this shiny Squillaci? Eh? Eh?! Thought that might do it all right. I’ll just pack them in this large box. Must remember to make some air holes. Must remember.

Check out Tim Stillman’s latest column in which he touches on Stewart Robson. Not that kind of touching.

And that’s really about it. For those of you worried about change, and it is always weird and scary, things will continue as normal around these parts. There’ll be news when Andrew and co have it over on Arseblog News and here I’ll leave you in the capable hands of Arseblog Tom who has the pleasure, the privilege I say, of guiding you through the days when there’s absolutely nothing happening. I am looking forward to waking up every morning and reading Arseblog, then having a deliciously cold Estrella for breakfast. And then a tortilla sandwich.

So, for now, have yourselves a quiet, relaxed transfer window. Remember, it’s still May only just June. There’s a long summer ahead and we’ve got plenty of time to do nothing and sign nobody. I’ll be thinking of you. Wish you were here, and all that.

Adios amigos!

We currently sit marooned in the post season pre European Championships no man’s land. It’s sometimes a bit crazying to watch my fellow inhabitants of this post apocalyptic wasteland roaming the thunder dome for scraps of tumbleweed with which to forge transfer speculation – desperately looking to fuse liquid gold from its drying spores. On a personal level, the whole transfer circus has moved me to a point where I can’t even be bothered to think about it.

That’s an odd feeling, because I know the business we do this summer is very important and I certainly hope the club don’t feel weary about it. But for me it’s reached a level of saturation now that my brain totally rejects the subject. It’s a bit like being forced to watch a continuous, 24 hour loop of hardcore pornography. At first it’s a pleasant enough distraction, but then it just becomes meaningless mounds of flesh lumped together. Then you reach this sort of post desensitisation state and you want to run home and sob like a little girl. Or so I’d imagine anyway. Ahem…..

Where was I? Oh yes. I think there are a certain amount of “live issues” with the squad that are equally worthy of attention. Robin van Persie’s contract is obviously the most pressing and has been subject to huge conjecture. My personal (uninformed) hunch is that he will stay but not necessarily sign a new deal. At a cost of around £6m in wages we’d keep one of the world’s best strikers for another of his peak years. If Podolski is to be his ultimate replacement, it’d give him a year to bed in.

It’s not ideal. But it would transfer the risk to Robin himself. He would need to produce another prolific, injury free season if he wanted the best deal in 2013. Especially when you consider that he’ll be close to 30 at the end of his contract and possibly past his peak. In any case, whatever the outcome there, removing the burden from him needs to be an incremental process. Off the back of a 48 game season, van Persie now goes into a summer of international action. He played every minute of every game after the January 9th cup tie against Leeds.

In September and October, van Persie started on the bench in games against Olympiacos and Stoke City, with the manager sighting the fact that he was in the famed “red zone” physically. I find it hard to believe he didn’t end the season with his deckchair and flip flops firmly entrenched in the red zone, but the lack of quality back up put paid to any prospect of rest. Walcott and Koscielny have also produced a comparable amount of minutes as they pack their bags for Polkraine. It’s naïve to think that they won’t come back at least feeling the nagging bite of fatigue next season.

Basically, this is a short hand way of saying that we won’t be able to go through another season relying on a core of 15-16 players. (There is also the spectre of another African Nations tournament next January too). Then of course there is the curiously quieter issue of Theo Walcott’s contract. Given his age and value we would not be in the same situation as we are with 29 year old van Persie. Remember, when one speaks of value in terms of contracts, it doesn’t just come down to ability.

Walcott is one of Arsenal’s most marketable faces. Think of every commercial activity of the last 5 years that has required a grinning player decked in red and white. Theo is usually front row centre for the lights, camera action. His agents and advisors will only be too well aware of this and it could make negotiations tricky, because his demands will likely be in advance of his actual ability on the pitch as a result. Speaking of Theo and his footballing ability, he had some criticism from sometime Arsenal TV pundit Stewart Robson this week. In turn, this seemed to spark something of a miniature outrage.

I didn’t 100% agree with Robson’s criticism myself (though I can see what he’s driving at). But I made the mistake online of trying to defend Robson’s right to pull no punches in his assessment. It’s fair to say this contention was widely contested! Within minutes of the quotes being printed, I saw online petitions for his removal and posters urging that the club sack him from his position on Arsenal TV. Employees of the club shouldn’t be so critical seemed to be the main jist of the counter argument and I have to say, that’s a philosophy I find troubling.

In my boredom, last summer I sifted through my mum’s attic for my old Arsenal programmes. I started to flick through publications from the 1992-93 season – my first as a season ticket holder. The club used to give up an entire page called ‘The Page That You Write’ in which supporters wrote in on subjects of their choice. Reading in the hindsight of the media coached, 21st Century propaganda paradise, I found it amazing that the club regularly printed missives aimed at the F.A., Sky television and the increasing commercialisation of the new Premier League alienating fans. It was amazing in that it was incredibly refreshing.

The knicker twisting at Robson’s lack of PR savvy reinforced how far we have fallen, not just as football fans, but as a society. We’ve become entrenched into this slave / master relationship with corporate blandness to the point that, not only do we accept it, but we find anything else genuinely unpalatable. Anything not couched in media friendly double speak is rejected vehemently. It’s contributed enormously to the pussification of our culture where sensibilities are offended so easily.

As I said, I didn’t entirely agree with Robson myself. But that’s OK. I think Theo is a very important player. That’s what makes him so frustrating at times. I don’t ever recall getting frustrated with McGoldrick or Hillier or even Chamakh. Poor players aren’t frustrating. But I find it genuinely troubling that a lot of people actively want happy clappy, diluted, disingenuous commentary. We’ve become cosseted to the point that somebody speaking their mind offends us so profoundly that we start up petitions, begging PR departments to rescue us with their veil of dilution.

“PR” is the absolute fucking devil’s spawn in this sort of scenario. It’s prevented us from behaving like adults and either exercising the right to disagree and argue the toss, or else to just ignore and disregard without the need to seek a gagging order. This is why we are served the sort of half baked, ill researched “punditry” from the likes of Shearer and Hansen, who just iron a shirt, sit on a sofa, recite cliché and trouser public cash for doing so. We’ve become so accustomed to it that any pundit that satisfies his job description by speaking his mind is regarded as a leper.

This isn’t necessarily to champion Robson’s opinions per se. But to see a criticism of one of our players (the substance of which I’ve seen from a thousand others) dressed up as some kind of conspiratorial agenda was a little dispiriting. If the guy thinks Walcott is “an athlete who puts football boots on” why shouldn’t he say it? He was asked his view of Walcott’s ability and did so. If you listen to him commentate on games that don’t involve Arsenal, you realise he’s curmudgeonly with a lot of players. Almost exactly a year ago, I was moved to write this piece, the last three paragraphs of which take up a similar theme.

I probably gave that an unequal amount of column inches and I realise that there’s an irony to getting angry about the oversensitivity of others. But it was cathartic to get it off my chest and it certainly sparked plenty of discussion when I broached the subject earlier in the week. Ultimately, as ever, you’re free to disagree or ignore. Of course you could petition for blogger to string me up by my bollocks. LD.

Follow me on Twitter @LittleDutchVA

A day after two managers have left their clubs to go to bigger and supposedly better ones, can we really expect anyone in the game to show loyalty? Or what we’d define as loyalty?

Brendan Rodgers has had a great season at Swansea but when the plaintive Scouse cry was directed towards him, he was up and out the door. Paul Lambert had a similarly successful season with Norwich and now appears to be on his way to Aston Villa. To be fair, both Liverpool and Villa have more history, pedigree, resources and stature than the clubs they’re leaving, and jobs like that don’t come along all the time.

Yet it’s funny how players get lambasted for moving but managers seem to get a free pass, for the most part. I’m sure Norwich and Swansea fans will be grateful to the two men for the jobs they did, getting them to the Premier League and keeping them there, but will it colour their work when they start at their new clubs? Imagine they have a player who wants to move to a bigger club, with more resources, pedigree etc. How on earth can they do anything other than stand back and let them leave? They can’t demand loyalty, having paid lip service to the whole concept themselves. Do as I say, not as I do, and all that.

As fans we expect players to show the same loyalty to a club as we would if we were the player. Which is really the wrong way to go about it. As fond as any player is of Arsenal, or another club, there are a plethora of reasons they might choose to leave. Each one of them is entirely justifiable in their own minds.

It’s just a job. It’s just a job with a very short shelf life. Maximising your income for that short period is just common sense. Anybody would leave the job they’re in now if they were offered double or triple their salary elsewhere. My personal ambitions are not being fulfilled. My personal life is suffering, I need to change. I want to go home. I want to win things. The club would be quick to get rid of me if they thought I wasn’t up to it anymore. I need to stop swerving off roads. I’d just like a change of scenery. It’s my last chance for a big move abroad.

Which all make sense on a footballing level and even a personal level. Footballers have lives which are as affected by the day to day problems as ours (except financial ones – unless they’ve blown all their money in casinos in which case fuck them). They can just sit around in their solid gold houses and have these issues.

Once the talent is there, clubs will show tremendous loyalty to players. Arsene Wenger believes highly in the ability of Abou Diaby and took a risk that he could overcome his injury problems. That’s part of the risk of football. He’s got a contract, he’s entitled to his wages the same as anyone else. But at some point a decision will have to be made, we’re not a charity and he’s struggling.

In the same way that Robin van Persie struggled. Ok, not exactly the same way because Robin’s litany of injuries down the years were all different, Diaby’s stem from one terrible challenge and an ankle which has become more and more damaged as time goes by. All the same, when van Persie missed 6 months here, 5 months there, another 4 months over there etc, Arsenal paid his wages, extended his contract and so on.

Now, with 12 months left on his deal, after his first long spell of sustained fitness, the ‘loyalty’ shown to him doesn’t seem to be returned. And that’s fine. That’s entirely up to him. He’s nearly 29. He wants to win things. It’s just a job. His personal ambitions are not being fulfilled. And so on. And let’s not make this a thing, he might very well sign a new contract and stay with us even if I’m increasingly doubtful that will happen. I don’t want to turn this into any kind of anti-van Persie post, especially when there are others in this situation this summer. He’s a player I’ve loved from the day he signed almost, I always said I thought he had something a bit special about him, and over the last 18 months he’s proved that.

Maybe it’s our expectations that need to change. We see a player who we stood by through injury, the player says ‘That’s what any club would do. It’s their duty. They do it all the time for countless other players.’ As fans we expect loyalty in return for buying shirts with players’ names on them, singing songs about them, placing them on pedestals. Players lap up the adulation, play the football and if something better comes along they rarely think twice before making a decision. Thanks for the songs and the worship but it’s just a job. I need a change. Wouldn’t you leave your job if a rival firm offered you triple your wages?

Thomas Vermaelen says this morning:

I will stay at Arsenal forever. There will be no transfer for me. I love London. I’ve got a house there, I’m happy there and I don’t see any reason to ever leave the club.

Love it. It’s fantastic to hear because it’s how a fan thinks. But I’m under no illusions that if Vermaelen kicks on in his career and improves to the point where he’s interesting to the ‘big boys’ of Europe, or even those with the fullest pockets in the Premier League, he’d be taking advice from those around him about how his career is short, he has to do ‘right’ by his family, how it’s time he achieved things in his career.

And you can say what you want about how winning things keeps players at clubs. I’m sure it makes it more difficult to leave but in as much as players like Cesc and Liam Brady left Arsenal because they felt they had more chance of winning silverware abroad/at home, others like Vieira and Henry left having won plenty. Players come, players go, that’s the way it goes, that’s the way it will always go.

But maybe for other players there’s something more to a club than just a job. We seem to be a place where real connections are made. Our current captain knows the esteem in which he’s held and part of that is because we know he gets what Arsenal means to the fans. Henry, Brady, Vieira and others left but are still regarded as playing legends. Those that chose the money from the Premier League are not, regardless of what they did on the pitch or how good they were (or thought they were).

Loyalty is a two-way street, but many players have driven up cul-de-sacs of cuntery. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen this summer.