tim_new2
19 Dec 2014

Where are we now – part 2

In part 1 of my Arsenal half term report, I ran the rule over the goalkeepers and defence. In part 2 I will whip out a scalpel and have a good old root around in the intestines of Arsenal’s midfield and attack. As an aperitif, this piece from July runs

2 arses
Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
19 Dec 2014

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

This week the sad news reaches Gentleman Towers that the legendary striker Terry Hennessy, the Dudley Dynamo, has finally hung up his boots. I thought I would pay my respects to this titan of a player by recalling his life and career, from the filthy, rat-infested streets of unimaginable poverty

1 arses
tim_new2
18 Dec 2014

Where are we now – Part 1

The World Cup in Brazil feels as though it has only just finished, yet here we are at Christmas, with the season already at its half way stage. It’s been a bumpy ride for Arsenal with new players, new formations and a total lack of available defenders giving the team

7 arses
per_wall_
18 Dec 2014

Nobody’s Per-fect

When a highly-populated hivemind has formed its collective opinion on a player, it usually takes something gargantuan from that player to change their headline, be it positive or negative. The struggle is greatest for defensive players; their more impressive work often goes unnoticed, or is merely added to a portfolio

3 arses
Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
12 Dec 2014

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

Consider Mr. Ramsara for one moment. Cast your minds back to the foggy recent past when al but a very few of us would feel a slight sinking feeling when that name appeared on the teamsheet, a bit like when one’s wife informs the household that the dear Mother-In-Law shall

2 arses
tim_new2
11 Dec 2014

Always crashing in the same car

For my sins, I have an Arsenal bowl that I keep at work for my lunch. Every lunchtime I faithfully clutch it to my bosom as I wander to the canteen for my daily dose of minestrone. A familiar pattern repeats, an estranged colleague spies my bowl, establishes eye contact

5 arses
tactics_new
08 Dec 2014

Tactics Column: Familiar frailties exposed again

Growing up in Strasbourg on the easternmost side of France, Arsene Wenger’s earliest football influences were mainly German. At the time, the most prominent rivalry was between Bayern Munich and Borussia Monchengladbach, one which transcended sport because both sides also symbolised opposing political viewpoints, and as such, it’s not difficult

4 arses
Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
05 Dec 2014

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

Since last we corresponded, dear hearts, it seems that the sun is peeping out from behind the clouds, maidens are throwing off their garments with joy and marshmallow is growing upon the trees in the parks of London town. For Woolwich have won three games of foot-ball in a row.

4 arses
tim_new2
04 Dec 2014

We need to talk about Theo

Just lately, Arsenal’s coterie of forwards have dominated club discourse – presuming of course that you are prepared to mute the ever present background hum of debate over the manager. Olivier Giroud scored on his return to action from injury. Danny Welbeck scored an impressive winning goal against West Bromwich

15 arses
Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
28 Nov 2014

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

We shall turn to the event’s of Odin’s Day presently but first I wish to tell you a story. I have used the players’ modern nicknames rather than their correct Gentleman names. A fellow is walking across Archway Bridge in Highgate. He spots a man in an Arsenal strip, standing

1 arses
tim_new2
27 Nov 2014

The finishing touch: starring Dan and Ollie

The sight of Olivier Giroud paying crumpled on the turf, his face wrinkled with pain, fingers snapping in anguish, is not uncommon. Despite his fits of pained pique, Giroud is generally a physically robust player, rarely injured and his one sustained injury during his Arsenal career has seen a miraculously

6 arses
ramsey750
25 Nov 2014

Limit’s supposed to be the sky

The heroics of Aaron Ramsey’s 2013-14 season need little repeating. Quite aside from the winning goal in the FA Cup final, he grew into one of the finest box-to-box midfielders in Europe. A team which contains high energy players who can score and create, maintain high levels of defensive awareness,

4 arses