Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
20 May 2016

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

Was there ever a more hilarious ending to a football season than this one just past? One so rib-ticklingly amusing, so stomach-burstingly mirthful? Perhaps. Anno Lasagnum, 2006, was perhaps its equal. But even that glorious day, with its comically Spursian gourmet twist, suggesting faecally polluted pasta-based sabotage by a Goonerian

0 arses
tim_new_2015
19 May 2016

Farewell, Little Moz-Arteta

Less sympathetic Arsenal commentators describe Theo Walcott as the emblematic player of the Emirates era. An expensive show of faith in potential unrealised, occasional glimpses of promise punctuated by yawning stretches of injury and incompetence. He gives you just enough to keep you engaged, to convince yourself that there is

11 arses
tactics_new
18 May 2016

Tactics Column: Giroud bags hattrick but Alexis the main man

There were tears and cheers as the curtains came down on Arsenal’s season, though the overwhelming feeling around Emirates was surely relief. Relief that Arsenal were finally able to stave off the challenge of Sp*rs for another season, but also that such an underwhelming season has ended. Beating Aston Villa

6 arses
Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
13 May 2016

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

For what may very well be the last Review of the season, unless an unlikely set of circumstances mean that Good Saint Tott arrives as late as possible, I shall examine the weekend’s match at the Abu Dhabi Vulgarians and those aforementioned permutations, along with some valuable advice should the

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tim_new_2015
12 May 2016

Stan

It has been just over 5 years since Stan Kroenke’s Kroenke Sports Enterprises officially completed a takeover of Arsenal Holdings PLC. It had been in the offing since Kroenke purchased 9.9% of the club and 50% of Arsenal Broadband Ltd in April 2007. The process moved into the realms of

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Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
06 May 2016

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

The major event of this week, aside from gigantic Yankee oompah-loompa Herr Drumpf ushering in the third Great War – was Leicester Fosse winning the English league. There are numerous amusing aspects to this. We shall come to the piquant delight of Tottenham throwing away the best chance they will

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tim_new_2015
05 May 2016

Bonfire of the Sanities

On last week’s Arsecast, I spoke a little about the ‘Time for Change’ protest at the Norwich City home game last Saturday, backed by three Arsenal supporters’ groups. In it, I suggested that I would not partake because, while I desire some level of change at Arsenal, I do not

47 arses
tactics_new
02 May 2016

Tactics Column: Possession problems v Norwich

“We are so unpredictable in what we are doing; even for me at the back sometimes it looks a bit weird! Sometimes we lose balance but sometimes it is really good so we have to keep going and focus on our game.” – Per Mertesacker I’ve been trying to figure

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Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
29 Apr 2016

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

As we approach the day when certain factions of the church of Arsenal have seen fit to create possibly the politest protest banner of all time. This banner, whose wording is simply the delightfully restrained ‘Time for change, Arsenal is stale, Fresh approach needed’ is and admirable example of that

3 arses
tim_new_2015
28 Apr 2016

Nuthin’ but an ‘XG’ Thang

Much has been said and written about Arsenal’s poor chance conversion this season. The manager cites it as the foremost reason for the disintegration of another title challenge. Arsenal fans are fattened up on a daily diet of Mesut Özil’s chance creation figures. The German could forge human life with

6 arses
tim_new_2015
20 Apr 2016

Director of the Bored

I feel sentimental towards Arsene Wenger. I do not think there to be any great shame in this. I am eager for him to succeed where I might feel apathy or even antipathy towards others. I might regard a manager with less of a history with Arsenal as more disposable.

10 arses
Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
15 Apr 2016

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

Some time in the interwar years, when the sun never set on Britain’s empire, I was on a hunting trip in the Kentish Weald. It is a most agreeable part of the world; it has three distinct parts: the High Weald, the Low Weald and the Greensand Ridge, which includes

1 arses