tactics_new
02 May 2016

Tactics Column: Possession problems v Norwich

“We are so unpredictable in what we are doing; even for me at the back sometimes it looks a bit weird! Sometimes we lose balance but sometimes it is really good so we have to keep going and focus on our game.” – Per Mertesacker I’ve been trying to figure

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Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
29 Apr 2016

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

As we approach the day when certain factions of the church of Arsenal have seen fit to create possibly the politest protest banner of all time. This banner, whose wording is simply the delightfully restrained ‘Time for change, Arsenal is stale, Fresh approach needed’ is and admirable example of that

3 arses
tim_new_2015
28 Apr 2016

Nuthin’ but an ‘XG’ Thang

Much has been said and written about Arsenal’s poor chance conversion this season. The manager cites it as the foremost reason for the disintegration of another title challenge. Arsenal fans are fattened up on a daily diet of Mesut Özil’s chance creation figures. The German could forge human life with

6 arses
tim_new_2015
20 Apr 2016

Director of the Bored

I feel sentimental towards Arsene Wenger. I do not think there to be any great shame in this. I am eager for him to succeed where I might feel apathy or even antipathy towards others. I might regard a manager with less of a history with Arsenal as more disposable.

10 arses
Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
15 Apr 2016

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

Some time in the interwar years, when the sun never set on Britain’s empire, I was on a hunting trip in the Kentish Weald. It is a most agreeable part of the world; it has three distinct parts: the High Weald, the Low Weald and the Greensand Ridge, which includes

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tim_new_2015
14 Apr 2016

All The Young Dudes

I have always had issues with the word ‘luck.’ It often implies an absence of responsibility; that an invisible force beyond our control has interfered malevolently. All too often, ‘luck’ is subconsciously adopted as a celestial kingmaker, wantonly dashing our hopes and dreams. However, happenstance, coincidence and felicity, though not

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tactics_new
12 Apr 2016

Tactics Column: Gabriel still to convince at centre-back but deserves time

Petr Cech put the ball down to take a quick goal-kick but mid-action, stopped. On the edge of the box, Gabriel hesitated for a split-second, seeing, in the corner of his eye, the striker encroaching. Cech motioned again to kick the ball out but Gabriel wasn’t ready; he was not

14 arses
Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
08 Apr 2016

Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review

I am returned. Last week happily fell upon the feast of St. Sherwood, patron saint of all fools, also known as April Fool’s Day. Dear reader, it took every fibre of my 138-year-old being, along with several grains of opium, a flagon of Napoleon Brandy, several blotters of lysergic acid

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tim_new_2015
07 Apr 2016

Every Dog Has Its Day

In recent weeks, a new look front three has elasticated Arsenal’s attacking game. Between Christmas and Easter, Arsenal’s attacks assumed the appearance of a beloved, ageing family pet, searching limply for a place to die. The Iwobi-Welbeck-Alexis triumvirate, ably backed up by a midfield platform of Coquelin and Elneny, is

12 arses
Arsenal Gentleman's Weekly Review
01 Apr 2016

Arsenal Gentleman’s (final) Weekly Review

EIGHT REASONS WHY TODAY I BECOME A TOTTENHAM FAN 1. I am deeply in love with Harry Kane I can restrain my passion no longer. I wish to make manly love with this strong-chinned love lump. I wish him to embrace me with his tentacle-like arms. I wish to run

8 arses
tim_new_2015
31 Mar 2016

The Madness of King George

Polemics have become very popular in football discourse in recent years. We have a constant need to compare, contrast and measure every achievement against all that preceded it. Immediately after any kind of seismic sporting event, we are encouraged to place it in the pantheon of history, which itself has

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tactics_new
29 Mar 2016

Tactics Column: Iwobi, Elneny, show promise

Total Football has inspired many coaches and managers, to varying success, though the biggest transformative effect on a side’s fortune is arguably not the tactics, but the presence of a star individual. Netherlands and Ajax had Johan Cruyff; AC Milan under Arrigo Sacchi had Marco van Basten; Barcelona have Lionel

1 arses