26 Nov 2015

Mathieu Flamini out to save the world … again

Mathieu Flamini, not content with saving the world by inventing a new substance which can replace oil in all its forms, he’s now going to save our season. With Mikel Arteta’s calves currently crammed into small boxes and being fed milk in readiness for them being turned into veal, and

292 arses
25 Nov 2015

Arsenal 3-0 Dinamo Zagreb: Attacking trio shine as we get the job done

Match report – Player ratings – By the numbers – Video Our hopes of qualification for the Champions League remain alive after a comprehensive 3-0 win over Dinamo Zagreb last night – Bayern Munich’s 4-0 spanking of Olympiacos meaning it all goes down to the final game in Greece in

107 arses
24 Nov 2015

Coquelin’s absence should see Ramsey’s central return, but maybe not tonight

Champions League action this evening as we look to bounce back from three rather disappointing results in a row. The loss to West Brom was preceded by a draw with Sp*rs and that mauling in Munich, so it’s about time we got ourselves going again. A home game against opposition

775 arses
23 Nov 2015

What are we going to do with our Coq out?

Morning all. Rumours. Not simply an iconic album by Fleetwood Mac. Nor summer-time flim-flam about some player we’re not going to sign. They can be bearer of bad tidings – ill winds that gust through our season, and this morning they’re saying that Francis Coquelin is looking at three months

366 arses
22 Nov 2015

West Brom 2-1 Arsenal: Shoddy defending and more injury worries

Match report – Player ratings – By the numbers – Video Well, that was hardly the return to action we wanted, going down 2-1 to West Brom, picking up two more injuries – one of which will have a big impact on our first team, and missing a penalty that

506 arses
21 Nov 2015

Wenger warns his team as we face ‘fully committed’ West Brom

So, we’re back in the saddle today with an away trip to West Brom. It’s never easy playing a Tony Pulis side, as we know, but generally our record against him is very good. We’ve won 9 of the 14 games we’ve ever played against sides managed by him, and

1550 arses
19 Nov 2015

Alexis Development

Back in September, I had planned to write a column about Alexis Sanchez and my overriding impression that Arsenal had mishandled his return to action this season. The Chilean understandably took some time to find his rhythm after his Copa América winning exploits with his country. I keep a notepad

5 arses
19 Nov 2015

Alexis set to sign new deal, but he needs help

This Thursday morning begins with reports that Alexis Sanchez has agreed a new deal with the club. Naturally it includes some kind of wage increase, but I don’t think the significance of such a move is that he gets a pay-rise. The news comes after reports earlier this week, or

177 arses
18 Nov 2015

England ❤ France

The scenes at Wembley yesterday evening, as England and France came together to remember the victims of the Paris attacks, were very moving. The French national anthem belted out, the colours blue, white, then red, followed by an impeccably observed minute’s silence. It was clear to see some of the

317 arses
17 Nov 2015

Ireland qualify + more from Wenger on doping in football

Well, Ireland have qualified for the European Championships next summer after beating Bosnia-Herzegovina 2-0 at Lansdowne Road last night. Two goals from Stoke’s Jon Walters put the team through to the finals in France next summer. The first a fairly generous penalty, the second a lovely volley at the back

142 arses
Jack Wilshere 2015/16 - more injury woe for Wilshere
16 Nov 2015

A new week and some stuff about Wilshere and Ozil

Good morning, the start of another week at the end of which we have the return of Arsenal, something to look forward to. In the meantime there are internationals for some of our players to contend with. Tonight Ireland will try to qualify for the European Championships with a game

307 arses
15 Nov 2015


Good morning everyone. I hope this finds you safe and well. It still feels a little off this morning to talk about football, especially when there’s no real football news to talk about. Typically that might provide an Interlull flight of fancy, a post of surreal whimsy perhaps, but that

226 arses