per mertesacker
25 Jul 2016

Arsenal heading stateside as Mertesacker raises concerns

Howdy, hope you all had a good weekend. This week sees the team head off to America where Theo Walcott is going to take over from Donald Trump as Republican candidate for the presidency after its revealed his hair is a wig made from stems cells of orphan puppy Labradors

69 arses
mahrez arsenal
24 Jul 2016

Smoke and Mahrez as Leicester winger linked again + Sunday round-up

Happy Sunday to you all. A very quick round-up of what’s going on, and yesterday French Eurosport – which we all hope is the most reliable Eurosport of them all – ran a story which said that Arsenal and Riyad Mahrez were totally going to hook up. We ran a

246 arses
23 Jul 2016

Rob Holding signs as club and manager change the message about transfers

Good morning and happy Saturday to you. A quick look at what went down yesterday, and there was some interesting stuff. Let’s start with an actual signing, and the capture of Rob Holding from Bolton Wanderers was made official. The 20 year old was Bolton’s Player of the Year last

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Ivan Gazidis Arsenal spending
22 Jul 2016

Ivan Gazidis lays groundwork for another timid summer

Hello and welcome to Friday, the day that pre-season begins in earnest as we play our first real fixture in the build up to the new campaign. We face RC Lens tonight, and although it’s likely to be a fairly makeshift sqaud/team with so many players still away, it’ll give

469 arses
21 Jul 2016

A Decade at Emirates Stadium: A Personal Reflection

10 years ago this week (indeed, to this day if you are reading on Friday) the Emirates Stadium hosted a fixture for the first time. I was 22 years old the summer that the club closed the doors on Highbury for the final time. I had been a season ticket

9 arses
21 Jul 2016

Many bulls are doing many plops : Wenger for England : New rules and new kit

People often wonder who are the reliable, trustworthy sources when it comes to transfers. The answer is not a simple one, even though there are clearly people who use social media as a platform to create lies and fiction. Some of these people are just bedroom wankblasters with nothing better

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granit xhaka arsenal
20 Jul 2016

Some more thoughts on Mahrez and what extra Xhaka might bring to this team

I know people are outraged that we haven’t yet signed a striker, but do you want to know what’s a real outrage? I’ll tell you. For the last two days in Dublin we’ve had sunshine and temperatures in the mid-late 20s C. This morning, the sky is grey and it

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rob holding arsenal
19 Jul 2016

Bolton central-defender on the way in + Giroud, Campbell and striker chat

Morning, I’m gonna have to fly through this one because rather inconveniently the people who are in charge of electricity are cutting it off on our road shortly. Apparently this is for ‘essential maintenance’ but they’re not fooling me. It’s just so they can give me a pain in my

195 arses
18 Jul 2016

The state of the squad requires forward thinking from Arsene Wenger

Righto, it’s Monday July 18th. The new season is still some way away but pre-season preparations are underway, important players are coming back soon, and the fixtures will start racking up soon. There are no more distractions in terms of international tournaments, and everybody – not just Arsenal – is

417 arses
17 Jul 2016

Roundy-bits, joysticks and Higuain/Giroud nonsense

Good morning and welcome to Sunday. Typically Sunday is a day of relaxation. Traditionally one would have this day off from work and spend it with family and friends. Of course much has changed in this seven day a week, twenty-four hour a day world we live in, and it

180 arses
16 Jul 2016

Arsenal chew over Bacca link as Mahrez becomes an obvious candidate

Morning all, a quick Saturday round-up for you before something else mad happens. I swear, if I woke up tomorrow, checked Twitter and saw that Crab People, who look like crabs and talk like people, had taken over the world, I wouldn’t even bat an eyelid. Arsene Wenger has been

129 arses
15 Jul 2016

I wrote some words and put them in some kind of order

Stuff happened in the real world while I was away on holidays. I saw it but because of my downtime I chose not to invest anything of myself into it. Selfish, perhaps, but there you go. I come back and more stuff happens in the real world. Again, close to

484 arses