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Arsenal 1-0 Orcs: football wins

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*boilk*. I say again *boilk*

I’m not sure my fingers will respond to what my brain thinks so this could be trying. Anyway, we beat the Orcs 1-0 yesterday. Thankfully. It looked like a game that was heading for 0-0, in a frustrating manner, but then a late Lukas Podolski free kick was deflected in for the winning goal and everyone was happy and then everyone was anxious because there was some weird discussion between the players and a linesman but in the end it stood and then everyone was really happy.

From the stands it was hard to know what the objection to the goal was, and given the way referee had performed on the day I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d disallowed it and then awarded it to Stoke, but after some discussion he pointed the right way. And, on the balance of play, we definitely deserved it.

Begovic made a number of very good saves, three in the first half, and one from Cazorla in the second which made me think the winner wasn’t going to come. From a defensive point of view I thought we coped well with whatever they threw at us. And it was fairly unsophisticated stuff as you’d image.

Shawcross gets ball, Shawcross gets booed, Shawcross moves ball onto right foot, Shawcross lumps ball forward towards Crouch, people go ‘Hoooof’ at Shawcross. That was it. That was all they did all game long. Well, apart from the bit when Michael Owen swung a punch at Mikel Arteta which went unseen by the referee and his assistants, and another scummy Shawcross ‘tackle’, but that’s not unexpected. In his ‘technical’ area, Tony Pulis scuttered around like a highly irate chav grandfather with a stupid cap on his stupid head. There’s no more to that, that’s just what he did.

From our point of view I thought we did all right, took the game to them, kept the ball well, made most of the chances and clearly we were the only team trying to win the game. It was frustrating at times, no question about it, but in the end I think the result was a fair one. In the same way that if you told me the entire Stoke team had been hijacked from their team bus on the way home, taken into the woods and then executed with swords, I’d think that was fair enough too. They are the football equivalent of seeing blood in your poo.

Afterwards, Arsene said:

They made it difficult for us, they were well organised, defended very deeply and we didn’t find the space but kept going. We were a bit lucky on the goal but overall we deserve this win.

And on the Shawcross tackle on Koscielny (which I haven’t seen again) but at the time I thought was a bit awful – making that judgement solely on the fact it’s Shawcross and he is a big, thick, cloggy leg-breaking cuntbucket:

I have to look at it again. I am not completely objective when it comes to Ryan Shawcross! That is why I am bit cautious with my statement.

I think it’s reasonable to assume that Shawcross was trying to remove Koscielny’s testicles/splinter his leg with his boot but missed. There can be no question of giving him the benefit of the doubt. Even if I see it again and replays show he didn’t catch him that badly and it was just the coming together of two players that can happen in any match, I’m still going to remember that it was a savage, vicious assault by the adopted son of the chav grandfather who is going out with his own sister and has a baby with his own sister and the baby has a tail and stuff.

Overall, you can’t be unhappy with three points, especially when other results seemed to go our way. The new boy at left back had a solid debut. He was a bit cautious, as you’d expect. Not doing anything too adventurous, playing it safe, but that’s a good way to start your career at a new club. The rest will come in time, I’m sure.

Now, I need more painkillers. And by painkillers I mean morphine. All the morphine. Until tomorrow, have a good Sunday.

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Fan of Arsenal, Robert Pires and most everything to do with rum and whiskey. Writer, podcaster, ace flintknapper, sluggish centre-half. Smiter of those that ought to be smote.

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