Saturday, June 10, 2023

We saw what you tried to do

Good morning to everyone.

Everyone except Rodri. I do not wish him a good morning. I wish him a virulent dose of the green apple splatters and a Trainspotting toilet to experience them in after this challenge on Martin Odegaard last night. Norway were in Spain, and somehow the Arsenal captain didn’t get a penalty for it.

I’ve watched the video about 34 times now, and I am convinced – or have convinced myself – that there’s a moment when the Man City midfielder realises who it is. He is no longer wearing the red of Spain, but the light blue of Man City, and he makes a tackle with April 26th in mind. If he concedes a penalty he doesn’t care, because he might just hobble one of Arsenal’s most important players.

Sure, I hear people say, ‘Don’t be so daft. It’s a split second thing. He doesn’t have time to process all that. He just desperately trying to get the ball after his team have been careless, and he slightly mistimes it. There’s no malicious intent.’

Not me though. I don’t believe that gaslighting nonsense for a second. I’ve seen this kind of thing before. Next you’ll be telling me he’s not that kind of player. Now, am I saying Pep Guardiola had a conversation with Rodri before he went on international duty to remind him that Odegaard is ‘so, so, so important’ to Arsenal before giving him a cheeky wink and doing the timeless throat slit gesture to let him know what he really wants from him?

No. I’m definitely not saying anything like that, and it’s definitely not just because Man City have the best law-talking guys around.

By the way – and most certainly apropos of nothing – I am sorry to break the flow of this morning’s blog, but I’ve been experiencing a weird issue with WordPress where it randomly inserts an image into the post and I don’t know how to fix it. I must take a look under the hood later, but it’s something which could cause problems down the line.

To continue, am I saying that had Odegaard been injured, Mikel Arteta would have been fully justified in bringing in John Wick on a free transfer to play in nets when we do go to face Man City in a few weeks time? Absolutely. Martin Odegaard is Mikel Arteta’s puppy and they tried to kill him.

Spain’s next game is against Scotland. Just saying, KT. Just saying.

So, in conclusion, I hope Rodri stands on a plug then, as he’s careering around the room, steps on a skateboard and falls Homer Simpson style down the side of a mountain. Including the bit where he’s air-lifted to safety and they drop the stretcher down the mountain too. The big twat.

In other news, Kieran Tierney got 90 minutes under his belt in Scotland’s 3-0 win over Cyprus, while Granit Xhaka scored and got an assist after playing 66 minutes of  Switzerland’s 5-0 win over Belarus. I mentioned Emile Smith Rowe yesterday, and he was on the scoresheet for England U21s as they beat France 4-0. Sharp movement, a nice header – hopefully that will do him and us some good.

Today, Bukayo Saka will be in action for England as they take on Oleksandr Zinchenko’s Ukraine at Wembley. No messing fellas. 50-50s? Leave that kind of stuff for the other lads. And Bukayo, watch out for Kalvin Phillips. Am I saying Pep Guardiola … well, you know the rest.

Don’t forget the clocks this morning. They went forward last night so you’ve lost an hour of sleep as you read this, which is why you’re feeling tired. Especially Rodri. So tired he doesn’t see that upturned plug.

Right, I have things to do this Sunday which involve stuff, so have a great day, I’ll be back tomorrow.

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