Friday, March 29, 2024

Interlull: it never stops but Sanogo scores

Good day Gooners, apologies if you couldn’t get to the site for a while this morning. Gremlins, I’m told.

We’re slap bang in the middle of an Interlull but then we should be used to these things by now. And it gives us a couple of days to calm down before it all kicks off again. It’s why there’s no Arsecast today. I was trying to arrange something a bit different but that didn’t come off so the alternative was talk about deadline day and transfers again and, frankly, we did that to death on the Arsecast Extra this week.

“So, Guest number 1 – why do you think we didn’t get another defender?”

“Well, I don’t really know.”

“And alternative guest, what’s your opinion on this?”

“I can’t make any sense of it at all.”

“And guest number 3?”

“I think it’s because of the cabal of mad geniuses that run football from an underground bunker beneath Mont Blanc. They sent a golden eagle to the Arsenal training ground and everyone knows that this is a sign that they’re about to carry out a dastardly attack. If they sent a large wombat, it would be totally different, obviously, but Wenger and Gazidis know how it works.”

“Shut up, Eboue.”

However, the madness hasn’t stopped completely. On the Arsecast Extra we were asked about potential free agents who might join us and I suggested that, based on his sterling efforts in the World Cup, we should go after Colombian Mario Yepes. Sure, he’s 38 but did you see him in Brazil, charging around? Tackling. Playing football and all that. He was ace.

The suggestion was mostly tongue in cheek because while there’s a part of me that would love it to happen because of the outright mentalness of it, it’s very, very, very unlikely that Arsene Wenger would do anything about it. That didn’t stop Metro from making up a story about it though, and now, this morning, it’s everywhere, even on the BBC gossip pages.

That’s because gossip and transfer business is a huge driver of traffic. It doesn’t matter that the window is closed. This screenshot from Twitter was taking the morning after the window closed:

guardian

Forget that the transfer window had just closed the night before and was 100+ days away from opening again, it’s business as usual when it comes to those kind of stories. I think I might start up a new site called ‘madeuptransferstories.com’ with a bio that reads: Everything on this site is completely and utterly made up. None of it is true. It’s all lies, fiction and poppycock. Do not trust us one bit.

And I bet we could generate thousands and thousands of page views and clicks and everything else. Then I’d set up a Twitter account called ‘Transfer Truth’ and away we’d go. Not that I have time to do this, but I bet it would gain an audience simply because there’s an audience that wants to be gained.

Ok, they might be the kind of people who think it’s funny to put a purple dildo in a reporter’s ear on live television but their ad revenue clicks are as good as anyone else’s, right? And on that, I thought this comic by The Sunshine Room was both brilliant and strangely poignant. Live TV is difficult enough but to have to do it with those kind of people all around you must be a nightmare.

Maybe that’s what you get for working for Sky but I genuinely felt sorry for that guy. Forever to be known as the man who got the purple dildo in his ear. Just like the woman who was stomping grapes will always be the grape stomping urrrrrg arrrrrgh ow ow ow woman. The world is a weird place at times.

Speaking of which, Yaya Sanogo scored two goals yesterday for the France U21s as they beat Kazakhstan 5-1 in a European qualifier. Ok, they weren’t the kind of goals that make you sit up and say ‘Wow!’, but a goal is a goal is a goal. And if this brings him back to us a bit more confident, then all the better.

It’s pretty obvious that the signing of Danny Welbeck has pushed Sanogo down the pecking order, and I really have no issue with that. If his season consists of some Capital One Cup, a few substitute appearances and perhaps a January loan as Giroud returns, then might well be the best thing for him. I don’t think the pressure of being asked to lead the line for us at this stage of his career is exactly healthy, so maybe with a bit less pressure he might find developing into the striker Arsene Wenger obviously thinks he can be a bit easier.

Beyond that, not much going on, other than to point you in the direction of this piece by our resident youth correspondent Jeorge Bird. He looks at the young players who might have to make a step up to the first team should we find ourselves with a central defensive crisis. Obviously it’d be good if we didn’t have to go that far down the pecking order, but knowing our luck … anyway, it’s a good read.

Right, have yourselves a good Friday, more from me tomorrow.

ps – a reminder that if you need some Interlull reading, there are still copies of Together: the story of Arsenal’s unbeaten season available at The Tollington. Pop in, have a beer and a read. It’s good for what ails ya. They’re also still available on site, but stocks are dwindling.

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