Thursday, January 20, 2022

Eggs, nuggets, mind control + Arsecast 313

Morning all. Seems like lots of people have today off, what with it being Chocolate Egg weekend and that. I don’t have any plans to eat a chocolate egg because they’re made from the bits of chocolate that are left over on the floor and have that white stuff on it. Much like chicken nuggets are simply the carcasses, beaks and entrails of all kinds of animals smooshed into a kind of paste then mixed with flavourings and emulsifiers (and possibly some Soylent Green) before being readied for human consumption.

Don’t eat chicken nuggets.

Easter eggs aren’t exactly the chicken nuggets of chocolate but they all have a very samey taste which makes me think the manufacturers are having a big laugh at us and before each one is packaged it’s brushed with a solution that could be made of anything. Even mind control drugs. They make me suspicious, and no offer of a free mug is going to sucker me in.

And no, I didn’t get enough sleep last night, as you ask.

Anyway, Arsene Wenger’s press conference was yesterday and he gave updates regarding players and their state of fitness. And that’s what we’re all here for, not crackpot theories about how big government is using religious festivals which have in turn been usurped by candy corporations to keep us placid and docile as they run rampant and do what they want.

The good news is that Mesut Ozil is likely to be available for the trip to Hull, with the manager saying he’d give him a test today and tomorrow before deciding if he makes the trip, but chances are he’ll be with the squad at the Tony the Tiger Arena. Grrrrrrreeaaaat. Wenger said:

It’s good to have Mesut back because we’ve had so many offensive players out. He gives you always opportunities to score. He’s one of our main players offensively and we are a team that is used to scoring goals. Recently away from home we have not scored so much so it is important that we get back our offensive potential back.

I like the phrase ‘offensive potential’, sounds like a name for a stand-up comedian’s tour (Daz O’B, you can have that one on me, if you want). But I know exactly what he means about having Ozil back. Along with Ramsey he’s got that stuff we all wish we had as footballers, which would mean we could actually be footballers instead of having to work for a living, and with just four games left of this current league campaign, to have that quality – not to mention the freshness they’ll have after being banjaxed for so long – is good news indeed.

The boss also suggested the German would be up there for the player of the year awards next season, assuming he goes through the campaign unharmed by chicken nuggets and easter eggs (has anyone thought to look at those as the underlying cause for our injury crisis? You can’t rule anything out, can you?):

I think he’s a fantastic football player and I would put him on the list to be Player of the Season next season.

Spot on, if you ask me. Once we get busy this summer and add that WCS (World Class Striker), along with the RDM (Rugged Defensive Midfielder) and SFPWWCASGAMRIBCTWOIGAAAT (Super Fast Pacy Winger Who Can Also Score Goals And Make Runs In Behind Coz That’s What Ozil Is Good At And All That), then there’s no doubt he’s going to be lifting that individual trophy which is what football is all about apart from the fact it’s a team game and individual accolades are basically worthless and only to serve the vanity of footballers and the almost despotic influence of the trophy making industry on the game we all love. WE ALL LOVE.

The manager also questioned the decision by Sky to move Chelsea’s game, thus inconveniencing lots of Arsenal fans in the process. He said:

I don’t question the objectivity of the television companies but sometimes their choices don’t look very rational. We never got any help on that front. Never.

I believe it’s incumbent on us all to stand up and make our voices heard when anything happens that might benefit John Terry or Jose Mourinho in any way (the easter egg and chicken nugget of football, respectively). The bottom line, however, is this decision has left lots of Arsenal fans inconvenienced, out of pocket and with no comeback whatsoever. It’s a point of discussion on today’s Arsecast which I’ll get to now in a minute.

But before I do, the upcoming book launch has been announced, mark it down in your diaries. Thursday May 15th, The Tollington. 10 years to the day that Arsenal went through the Premiership unbeaten, we’ll be launching the book which looks back on that most awesome of seasons. Full details can be found here, and if you want to let us know you’re attending via Facebook you can do that too (but you can also just show up and have a beer and get a book – it’s most casual). More details on this over the next few weeks.

Right then, onto this week’s Arsecast and I’m joined by Tim Stillman and Goonerholic to discuss what turned out to be a pretty good for us. On the agenda, West Ham, Podolski, Giroud, the race for fourth, FA Cup final tickets, and loads more.

You can subscribe to the Arsecast on iTunes by clicking here. Or if you want to subscribe directly to the feed URL you can do so too (this is a much better way to do it as you don’t experience the delays from iTunes). To download this week’s Arsecast directly – click here32mb MP3.

The Arsecast is also available on our SoundCloud channel, where you can leave comments and such, as well as via the SoundCloud app for iPhone and Android. You can now also find it on the Stitcher podcasting app for iOS and Android. Or, you can listen without leaving this page by using the player below.

And that’s about that for today. We don’t play till Sunday so it could get quiet between now and then, but if there’s anything stirring we’ll have it on Arseblog News. The Gent should be here later and I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

Till then.

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